The View From We2

Arts or No Arts...That is the Question

2012-01-16T22:10:00.000-06:00

Art. A word that often conjures up visions of large pieces of canvas covered with paint in a manner from which only the artist or those who fancy themselves connoisseurs of the arts can derive any beauty or inspiration. Those of us who aren't as cultured as these occasionally uppity and snobbish folks stand back and mock them for being bamboozled by the "artist" who appears to have not had a haircut or shower in some number of days if not longer. That may be an unfair characterization of the artsy set, but it is a characterization that is probably more prevalent than the artsy may care to admit. I grew up in the country. There weren't a lot of museums or concert halls in Slapout. There is a Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts but it is located in Washington, D.C., not Kennedy, Alabama where my dad was a pastor in the late 70s. As such, I didn't have the opportunity to be exposed to "the arts" the way some folks who spent their formative years in larger, more populous areas did. What are "the arts" anyway? Congress, in the United States Code, defines the phrase like this:

The term "arts" includes, but is not limited to, music (instrumental and vocal), dance, drama, folk art, creative writing, architecture and allied fields, painting, sculpture, photography, graphic and craft arts, industrial design, costume and fashion design, motion pictures, television, radio, tape and sound recording, and the arts related to the presentation, performance, execution, exhibition of those major art forms, and the study and application of the arts to the human environment.

Congress' recent and numerous shortcomings notwithstanding, I think that's a pretty solid explanation of the arts. I can only speak for myself, but I wish that I had had more opportunities to learn about and be exposed to various forms of the arts. My wife grew up dancing and singing and still does both of those things regularly as an adult. My son takes piano lessons and sings and my daughter takes violin lessons as well as dances under the tutelage of my wife who owns and operates a dance studio. I want my children to grow up with an appreciation for the beauty that can be found, not only in the performing arts they are involved in but in other forms of art as well. Larger cities like Montgomery and Birmingham provide a means for them to do that but I'd love for them to be able to have that sort of experience right here in Wetumpka as well.

With the growth that Wetumpka and Elmore County have experienced in the last several years I have to believe that there is an ever growing segment of the local population that would like to see the arts have a larger presence here. The Wetumpka Depot Players provide a number of high quality, award winning productions each year and our city is also home to The Alabama River Region Arts Center. Among others, there are art classes offered by Stephanie Burdick Harrison at The Jasmine Hill Art Gallery. My desire is to see more opportunities afforded Wetumpka residents to be able to both view and enjoy as well as actively participate in all forms of the arts. Perhaps a civic choral group of some sort or more emphasis on arts in some of our civic events. Even though I had to step away with the declining health and subsequent death of my mother there seemed to be much interest in having a music and arts festival in Wetumpka. I still think that is a very real possibility and hope to revisit trying to make that happen in the coming months.

Art is a broad term and a particular art form that one person enjoys may not be something that someone else does. That's okay. Variety, as they say, is the spice of life. We would all do well to follow my high school literature teacher's advice to me when I said that reading Shakespeare was stupid. She said that just because I didn't like it didn't make it stupid. It just meant that it wasn't exactly my cup of tea. Don't like what someone else is doing artistically? Do something different! Your preferred medium not being represented? Be the catalyst that gets it started! I think we are limited only by our own imagination and ideas. One thing I think that true art doesn't do is inspire hatred and vitriolic behavior. I believe that at its worst, one might find true art benign, perhaps based upon personal preferences. I think that true art can certainly inspire a vast array of emotions but at the end of the day is not harmful or damaging when taken in context. That's my opinion anyway. I digress.

So, what do you think can be done in Wetumpka to promote an interest in the arts, whether performance, visual, or literary? Are there things you are aware of that the rest of us may not have heard about? Do you have a talent or gift you could share with our community to promote the arts in some manner? Am I waiting for a ship that has long-since sailed or will never leave port? I hope not. I'd love to hear your thoughts. It's an election year here in Wetumpka which means it might be a bit easier to get some things done since politicians will be looking to please voters and secure their support at the ballot box. What do you think?

Yummy Seafood! The Guru Goes to Wintzell's.

2011-10-25T13:33:00.000-05:00

Target: Wintzell’s
Target Address: 105 Commerce Street, Montgomery Alabama
Service: Dine in/or Carry Out – Lunch and Dinner menu (Average entrée - $14.65)

If you like Gulf Coast cooking, then you will like this one for sure. Wintzell’s was started in Historic Mobile in 1938 and quickly became known for its Oysters which you could get Fried, Stewed or Nude. Personally speaking, you can have my Oysters based on their function in life, to filter water. Wintzell’s came to Montgomery a few years ago with the completion of the Civic Center make over and has been a hit here ever since.

On this day there were 4 of us dinning. The Wait Staff was kind and courteous but not so quick to get us settled in and order the beverages. Some of us decided to get a cup of Gumbo only because we don’t pass it up where it’s offered and we were glad we didn’t pass on this one. It was perfectly seasoned, good ingredients and left us all wishing we had one more. Our table then ordered Back Wrapped Shrimp ($16.99), a Shrimp Po Boy ($9.99), Fish Basket ($8.99), and I slid in there with a Crab Cake BLT ($9.99). All of the entrées were perfectly cooked and had an ample amount of food for the price.

Desert was offered and refused by all; too many full people sitting around a table after a meal like that will run your desert business right down the drain. However what they had to offer looked delicious and may just draw us back again for a desert run.

You cannot go to Wintzell’s and not sit around reading the walls. Some of the sayings are timeless and priceless. It also helps to pass the time for the young ones in your crowd as well. For an after work dinner and drink or a family outing, Wintzell’s Downtown Montgomery is a good solid choice.

Guru Grade – Over all they get a 91out of 100 points on the scorecard. The 91 is not exactly reflective of Wintzell’s, but let’s face it they lose points on parking because after all it is Downtown Montgomery. The service could have been better, although it was not bad, just a little slow. Not sure if it was because of the crowd or maybe the person was new. All in all, you can’t go badly with Wintzell’s in Montgomery. To Wintzell’s, the Guru had your food, and was pleased. **Guru TIP** – after dinner, take a nice walk down by the River, they have really fixed the place up nice there.

Bringin' the Pain with my College Football Picks of the Week!

2011-10-08T12:32:00.002-05:00

These are my seven, totally baseless, unresearched college football picks for today. Well, maybe a little bit of a base. Based on what little bit of ESPN Gameday I might pay attention to that doesn't involve the University of Alabama or what I might skim over in the paper. Why only seven? Because my OCD dictates it, that's why. I could try and explain the whole number issues regarding prime numbers, good and bad numbers, and numbers that are multiples of six or seven but it would take several paragraphs. So, suffice it to say that seven is a good number and it is what I settled on. Here they are...

Georgia at Tennessee: Gotta' take the Dawgs in this one. Not the old, scruffy hound named Smokey, but the rough and tough UGA XIIIXIIVVI or whichever number they're on now. I hate Tennessee. I hate orange, I hate checker boards, and they some snitches. Need I say more? If so, refer to this video.
Auburn at Arkansas: Remember that part about me hating orange? 'Nuff said. With apologies to my many Auburn friends, if Auburn played Wetumpka's 7th grade team, I'm afraid I'd have to pick the Indians. This will be the case week in and week out. I pick with my heart, not my head.
Florida at LSU: Did you ever just have a feeling about something with nothing to really base it on? Me, too, and they're usually way off base, but I'm having one of those feelings now. LSU is located in Baton Rouge. Baton Rouge is about an hour and a half from New Orleans. I love New Orleans. Great food. Great music. I love it. For that reason, I'd love to say LSU wins this one and stays undefeated when they collide with my beloved Tide in Tuscaloosa. Gotta' go with the gut feeling on this one. Which likely means LSU wins in a walk. Hey, no guts, no glory, right? Gators chomp the Tigers.
Kentucky at South Carolina: If the Gamecocks completely lay down against Kentucky the way the did against Auburn, expect the Cats to prevail. In fact, the aforementioned 7th grade Indians might prevail in that case. Spurrier has decided to let Garcia have a seat for at least the beginning of this game and may I say, IT'S ABOUT TIME!!! You never know what you're gonna' get when SC takes the field. They'll be able to do enough today, sans Garcia, to whip the Mildcats who are already looking forward to March Madness.
Iowa at Penn State: Iowa is trekking to Happy Valley, the home of Joe Paterno who happens to be the oldest living man in North America. Is he anything more than a figurehead at this point? A not-so-subtle reminder of glory days past? Heck, he didn't even have on the dark glasses as he sat, without even a headset on, in the press box a few weeks ago when the Crimson Tide rolled into town. A friend always told me he thought Paterno wore the dark glasses to hid his eyes which were actually just empty sockets with actual fire in them. Methinks the fire has gone. I say the Hawkeyes win.
Maryland at Georgia Tech: Wetumpka's own Tevin Washington is Tech's QB. I'm a homer and I hate Maryland's stupid, ugly uniforms. Ramblin' Wreck wrecks the Turtles.
Vanderbilt at Alabama: This ain't a math test, it's SEC football! ROLL TIDE!

Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Evangelical?

2011-10-07T14:24:00.003-05:00

A few weeks ago, after reading the story regarding the weekend of religious themed observances at the National Cathedral in Washington, I wondered both aloud and on Facebook why there was no representative of our country's large evangelical Christian community invited to take part in these events. I am prone to occasional bouts of pondering and so I began to do just that. I think I've finally come to a conclusion and that conclusion is, simply, that evangelicals are mean, ornery, narrow-minded, violent, selfish people who don't deserve to have a voice in any sort of public discourse, let alone something as important as marking the tenth anniversary of such a tragic event as the terrorist attacks of 9/11. How could I not have seen it before when it's as plain as the little round nose on the end of my bearded face? As my kids wold say, "DUH?!?"
In fact, I go to church with some of these thugs! Do you know that every time there is a natural disaster of some sort, there is a group of men from my church who have the nerve to pack up and travel to wherever that disaster happened and try to help the people affected by it? What a bunch of self-serving, right-wing goons! They don't waste time, either! The people who may have lost their homes or other belongings haven't even had time to fill out a pile of paper work only to be given more paperwork by FEMA before these guys in their yellow shirts are already pulling into town wielding chainsaws and all sorts of other tools to clear debris or do whatever else might need doing. They even set up mobile kitchens so that victims and volunteers alike can have a hot meal! How obnoxious and divisive can some people be? In an as yet unrivaled show of pure meanness and spite, one of these guys actually spent time in NYC following the 9/11 attacks helping to clean up, among other things, the apartments of people that had been damaged by the collapse of the twin towers. Good gravy!

There is another church in my city that selfishly and small-mindedly decided that they would not only create a charity that helps those in our community who may be in need, but they actually created a space right in their church building where someone could actually sleep and shower if they happened to be traveling through and had no money for a place to rest and clean up. Another church started a food pantry that, when they still had it at their church, had a line of cars waiting for hours on Saturday mornings to get food. How dare they?

I became a Christian in 1977. My father is a Baptist minister who pastored various churches for almost 50 years. I've been around an evangelical or two in my time. With very, very few exceptions, I've known them to be loving, caring people who want to share the love of Christ with a world that seems to be in desperate need of something permanent. Something that will give them security and peace in tumultuous times. Christ can do that, so they want to share it. Some may be misguided in their methods and understanding and some will make mistakes. Sometimes, big ones. We never claimed perfection, only forgiveness. And, like every group of people who adhere to the same or similar beliefs, be they social, political, religious, or otherwise, there are those on the fringe who claim to be followers of Christ but their deeds do not bear their alleged beliefs out. Those who would kill an abortion provider in the name of Jesus would fall into this category. They are few and far between, though. We shouldn't all be judged violent or dangerous simply based upon the actions of an occasional nut-job who decides to do something foolish. That is unfair at best and demonstrates a terrible misunderstanding of what a real evangelical is and what their objective is.

Don't be afraid or run and hide the next time you see the big, bad evangelical coming down your street. They're pretty harmless and if you have a tree on your house they'll probably help you cut it up and move it. You might even get a hot meal out of the deal.

Like Good Seafood? So Does the Food Guru...Check Out the Latest Review.

2011-10-07T12:25:00.000-05:00

Target: J&D Seafood

Target Address: 461 North Eastern Blvd, Montgomery Al

Service: Carry Out ONLY – Lunch menu (Average entrée - $9.15)

Guru, ready for a request? I think that is about how Thad put it. One of his readers requested that I take on J&D Seafood. Now I will be honest with you, walking in the place reminded me a lot, A LOT, of the Destin Connection. I don’t want to pit one against the other here, so I will just say this; Destin Connection had better step it up! This place was great in every aspect. You can also order all kinds of seafood to take home and cook yourself from this place. They had a section of spices for sale to take home and prepare your seafood with. I was very pleasantly surprised to see “Slap Ya Mamma” on the shelf.
First of all, don’t look for a table to sit at, it’s carry out only. There are however plenty of chairs around the perimeter to sit in while you wait on your order. There is a lunch menu posted and all of it is cooked to order. To say that this food came to me hot, fresh and ready to eat would somehow be an understatement because it had to be even better than that. Oh yeah there was something better, it was PLENTIFUL too.

I ordered the Fish and Shrimp Platter with Okra and Hushpuppies. Can you say 2 for 1? There was a dozen perfectly breaded and fried shrimp, two of the largest yet not strong tasting catfish filets I have ever eaten outside of my own house, 6 hushpuppies and enough okra to feed a small 3rd world country. Ok, maybe the amount of okra is stretching it a bit. I assure you though; there was more than enough food for two people there. The Catfish was light, flaky and none of it was greasy at all.

Now let’s talk about the place, it’s a fish market. They tell me in all of my training that you’re not supposed to smell fish even in a fish market. On the other hand I have been in fish markets from the Gulf Coast to Seattle and all up and down the East Coast and have never been in one that didn’t smell of fish. However there was a smell of fish and if you have a serious problem with that, then you’re not going to like walking in the door. That said, everything I looked at was clean and orderly. The State Health Department is not going to give these types of places a 98 just because, they have to earn it.

Guru Grade – Over all they get a 98 out of 100 points on the scorecard. Thad says I have to be fair, and well, that isn’t fair!! It’s a fish market and thusly smells like one. This place should be a 100 out of 100!! Everything else, and I mean everything else was perfect for a carry out fish market. I cannot wait to go back and take some seafood home to cook. One foot note, I had a short conversation with the owner and his line to me – “I only buy the best of everything”. If you have missed J&D Seafood on the Bypass, you have missed out big. Give it a try, Guru out!

Judge Thornton is Reappointed and Waffle House is 10-84!

2011-10-07T11:34:00.002-05:00

Click here for The Wetumpka Herald's coverage of the last Wetumpka city council meeting. Remember all the hullabaloo some members of the council raised over reappointing John Thornton as municipal judge? Remember how they got everyone in an uproar over why they couldn't just reappoint Judge Thornton who had held the post for many years? Yeah. Well, they finally did that. Nothing is without high drama with some of these people. I hope that as we close in on the next election in 2012 that everyone remembers how some of these folks made a mockery of our city with their antics. Who knows what sort of capers they could dream up if they somehow ended up in office for another four year term. Let's do what we can to make sure that doesn't happen.

Remind Me Again Why We Don't Buy Everything at the Dollar Store

2011-10-05T17:18:00.001-05:00

I thought I'd repost an old blog entry from way back on April 9, 2009, just after I started this here blog. I still wonder about the "Everything is only A Dollar" stores. Enjoy...

I just got home from church and eating Mexican for the second time today. Just in case you didn't already know this, if you eat at a Mexican restaurant, at least this one in particular, you ain't gonna' be able to hide it from anyone. As I sit here writing, I can smell myself. I can only imagine how the people at the grocery store could smell me. Anyway, let's move on.

Gigi and I went to one of the 28,352 Dollar (fill in the blank) stores in our area the other night. I love going to these stores because where else can you buy a watch, or a toy, or party favors, or pet supplies, or any number of other things for only a dollar? We bought some things for my daughter's 3rd birthday party Friday night and may I just say, WHAT A BARGAIN! We also bought some Dial antibacterial bars of soap and a few other items. As we walked around the store I saw many items that we normally buy at Wal Mart or the Winn and Dixie (as a friend's grandmother called it) and the thought entered my mind, "Why don't we buy everything here at the dollar store?" Does anyone have the answer to that question? I'm sure there is a logical explanation. Here in Wetumpka, there is a Wal Mart Supercenter right next door to the dollar store. I wonder why the dollar store isn't overrun with people buying all the things there for a dollar that cost a good bit more at Wal Mart.
Anytime I stand in any line at any store like Wal Mart or Target I am always tempted to buy, and often do, a Twix bar or some chewing gum or maybe one of those various sticks of meat that are always near the check-out line. I realized the other night that when I'm in line at the dollar store, I never even consider the items there because apparently the candy and gum at the dollar store is not up to par with the candy and gum at the big-box retail stores. I mean, if I can buy the four-pack of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups at Dollar General for a buck when they may cost four times as much at Wal Mart then something has to be wrong with them, right?

If I buy the toothpaste at Dollar Tree, will it cause the enamel to just slide right off of my teeth into my Diet Dr. Pepper, purchased at Winn Dixie by the way, resulting in my never being able to eat Mexican food again? Not that no Mexican food would be a bad thing necessarily.

Do the gummie bears contain an unusually high level of DDT or some other birth defect causing chemical. Benzene, maybe? Perhaps strychnine?

What happens if I somehow muster up the courage to buy a bag of the various kinds of potato chips they have at the dollar store? Upon putting one of these chips into my mouth am I going to suddenly be stricken ill by salmonella or trichinosis or develop some horrible Olestra type symptoms?

Is the bottled water there flown in after being scooped directly out of a mud hole in the most impoverished, malaria-stricken, desolate, built-on-a-dump African nation? Will I get leprosy just by getting a drop of it in my skin and suffer a horrible, rapid death within minutes if I dare take a sip?

Is all their merchandise made in China?

And the soap. We bought the soap. I have now bathed with the soap no less than four times. Did anyone who saw me at church today think that I didn't look clean the way that Kid Rock never seems to look clean. Did I stink? More than usual, I mean. The bar looks and feels just like the ones we always buy at Wal Mart. Since it's anti-bacterial, does it only kill 75% of the germs rather than 99.9% like the good stuff? I need to know.

It's tough to beat the price at the dollar stores. There aren't many things in the world you can buy for a dollar anymore. To have a store where everything they sell only costs a dollar seems like a deal that is just too good to pass up. Which brings me back to my question: Why aren't people just breaking down the doors to buy the merchandise in the dollar store?

Here is what I know for sure. We ventured out and bought soap this time. We haven't ventured out and bought much else other than a pack of green army men or some skewers or something. Anything that you eat or drink or put on a cut, those type things we always get at a big store. I'm not sure why and I'm hoping someone out there can shed a little light on the subject for me. Anyway, gotta' go now. I've developed several oozing sores on my back since my shower this morning. Not sure what's going on with that but I need to run to Wal Mart and get some Neosporin.

There's a reason for this solo pic post...

2011-10-04T19:47:00.003-05:00

We2 Food Guru Dines at RJ's Chicken Fingers

2011-10-04T09:53:00.001-05:00

Target: RJ’s Chicken Fingers

Target Address: Wetumpka Alabama

Service: Dine in/or Carry Out – Lunch and Dinner menu (Average entrée - $)

Guru and Crew went to RJ’s Chicken Fingers to see what all of the clucking has been about. It’s a walk up and order type place. Just as the name implies, they serve Chicken Fingers as well as Wings. The menu is short, sweet and to the point. Its easy to read and clearly laid out. The décor is an odd mix yet the hometown flavor of the pictures from around Wetumpka is very nicely done. There are tables and booths inside and outside. There were three in our group and when we arrived there were two people there eating.

I ordered the 3 finger snack ($4.95), also ordered was the Wings and Chicken ($7.19), an order of Cheese Sticks ($3.49) and 3 regular drinks ($1.69). The food was delivered in a timely manner and was hot which is a wonderful thing when dealing with Chicken. It was obviously cooked to order. We asked what the sauce was and the answer we got was “You know how Zaxby’s sauce taste, its like that”. I was looking for more of how I will describe it for you here. Peppery, yet with just a hint of sweetness. I liked this sauce, I do not however care for Zaxby’s.

There are 3 types of Chicken Fingers in this world. Pre-processed slabs that are generally flat, then two types whole chicken, double/multiple breaded and lightly breaded. RJ’s are lightly breaded breast of Chicken and were really juicy. The regular fries were good, but I found myself wanting to dip the Sweet Potato Fries into something like cinnamon butter, however they were great as they were. The report on the cheese sticks is that they were all eaten so I would say that they were good as well. However there was nothing to dip them in either. It just seemed like a dipping kind of place. Now let’s talk about the wings. We ordered hot and they had a nice spicy flavor. They were cooked perfectly, not dried out or tuff. Quick word about the Pies that we ordered, while I love homemade fried pies and these are have a good flavor, eating them hot would have made them GREAT.

Guru Grade – Over all they get a 97 out of 100 points on the scorecard. Price, well for chicken I would say it was just slightly high. For instance there are places you can get wings for 50 cents versus 68 cents, but you do have to hit a ‘wing night’. RJ’s may have nightly specials however we were not aware of any. Not a deal breaker for sure. The biggest issue came down in the ‘clean’ column. Food Safety is important as it can lead to serious consequences. An employee from the kitchen got himself a drink and proceeded to take it back to the kitchen. Employees consuming food in food preparation areas is a big no no with the health department, and the Guru as well. Cross contamination leads to many Food Borne Illnesses. All in all, this is a Local Guy taking a stab to fill a local need and I think they have it. However he can’t continue to fill that niche if you don’t go support him. If you haven’t been yet, give it a try soon.

Who Are Your People?

2011-10-04T09:33:00.003-05:00

Some of you may remember me writing guest blogs for Thad a few years ago. I called them “Tales of a Displaced Debutante”, but since then I have landed squarely back in the South (Rome, Georgia to be exact). He asked me to give the guest blog a whirl again so here I go. I have no plans and no outline for what I will write or how often I will write it. I hope you laugh a little and get where I am coming from. You may get funny anecdotes of a first year college professor or funny things that pop in my head. Either way, this is my life….When in Rome.

Who are your people?
Kimberly Hays

In my house growing up we had a big, blue dictionary and we called it “the blue dictionary”. It often stayed by my dad’s chair for his morning crossword puzzle solving, but was also on call in case my sister and I made the mistake of saying “What does _________ mean?”. The automatic from both parents was always “Look it up.” There was also a cool section in the back of commonly used foreign phrases which came in handy when my Latvian pen pal in 4th grade asked what E Pluribus Unum meant when I sent her a U.S. Dollar (fyi, it means “out of many, one”). There was also a section that told you how to address letters to important people. I got mad at Bill Clinton once and my dad told me to write him a letter. I used “the blue dictionary” to find the correct salutation. I am assuming my mom still has that blue dictionary somewhere. I got a big fancy new one for Christmas (yes, I asked for it) a few years ago, but honestly it just isn’t the same.

Between all of the looking up and crossword puzzles and scrabble games that happened in our house I fell in love it words - big words, little words, words that sound funny (onomatopoeia is one of my favorites – I had to use my shiny dictionary to double check that one), and words that mean far more than their definitions are fun. In fact, I am still saying onomatopoeia to myself right now. When Thad asked me to revive my guest columns I thought I would start with the humorous anecdote of packing my whole life up and moving it halfway across the country. I started to write that and got pretty far until I realized that I shouldn’t tell the story of my stuff, I should tell the story of my people. You know, my people.

If you have spent any time in the South you have inevitably been asked the question, “Who are your people?” We all know what they mean and we all have them - our mama’s people, our daddy’s people, our Granny’s people, our relations, our shared genetic history, stretching back for generations on land, in places, and changing the shape of communities for centuries. Genealogy has become the cool thing to do in the past few years and no doubt some of you can tell me who came to the New World on what boat. I have never delved quite that far. When people ask my heritage I tell them Southern or poor white trash (my mama hates that answer) because it seems so odd to think about my ancestors living anywhere else. And for the record, my people are from Butler County, Alabama on one side and South Georgia and Northern Missouri (I know, I know, I know) on the other. With the exception of that one guy that was in the Union army we are pretty dang Southern. One set of grandparents even grew up in Pigeon Creek, Alabama which was where they set the movie Sweet Home Alabama. Trust me, it was not that glamorous in real life.

Even though there are plenty of stories to tell about my people, they are not who this story is about. I am writing about my other people. The ones I got to pick. The family built of Southerners and Northerners, carnivores and vegetarians, men and women, every race and language you can imagine, and about a million ways to refer to a Coke and a water fountain. In the grand scheme of things my life has not been that exotic, but for a small town Wetumpka girl it seems that way to some. I moved away with no plans to return. I set off to a place where I knew no one. I have lived my adult life unattached thus far, no husband or children to consider in my decision making. While all of that is fine and dandy it is no walk in the park to find yourself 900 miles from the people, places, and things you have known all your life. There were tons of things I disliked about growing up in small town Alabama and some I still do, but there are things I never realized I would miss until I was gone. Sick and need a doctor? Go visit Dr. Kumar and he will fix you right up. Hankering a walk down memory lane? Go to Wal-Mart and I guarantee you will bump into a classmate. Death in the family? No need to cook, the casseroles and fried chicken will arrive shortly. Starting to feel Christmasy? First Saturday in December you will be downtown at Christmas on the Coosa. Need a laugh? Go see a play at the Depot. Went to Wetumpka High? You know exactly who I mean when I say Coach. These are the pieces of Wetumpka life that I left behind. I had no Dr. Kumar when I was sick and no church ladies to send me a note when I missed church. What I found, however, was a group of people that was equally as ragamuffin as I was. They were from crazy places, too - Northern California, the Upper Peninsula of Michigan (no, they aren’t Canadian, they just sound that way), Brazil, India, Washington, Pennsylvania, New York, Florida, Missouri. We were all in the same place. We packed our trucks and cars and cattle trailers and moved them from the corners of the globe to land almost in the geographical center of the United States – Stillwater, Oklahoma. We were all, many for the first time in our lives, people-less. No one understood me when I said my people were from Pigeon Creek. They didn’t have the context I had. They chuckled at my funny accent and I chuckled at theirs. I spent a whole afternoon pointing at a water fountain and asking a girl from Wisconsin what she called it. Ha – a bubbler!

I am not sure when the transition happened and we became each others people. It could have been all the birthdays when we gathered in a tiny apartment or rental house to bake homemade cakes for the birthday boy or girl. It could be the celebrations we had on the days one of us received a big grant or award for the science we were doing or the celebrations of our epic failures when we didn’t get those same grants and awards. Maybe it was the Friday nights we spent doing the Texas two step around a wooden dance floor. I prefer to think that it happened on the less glamorous occasions. The semester I had strep throat and was trying to write my doctoral dissertation and people brought me soup and medicine and walked my dog because I was too sick to walk down the stairs. The airport drop offs for a 6am flight home when the airport was an hour away or the pickups that turned into a 3am adventure when the flight was delayed. It could have been the freezing cold or burning up nights in a tent somewhere in the wilds of Oklahoma when folks would tag along to help with your research just because they had the time. It definitely happened when the big things in life happened – we lost parents and grandparents and friends, people got married, and nieces and nephews were born. It happened when we spent Thanksgiving Day together, starting with a Godfather breakfast all the way to raucous board games after a potluck dinner. It happened when we got to share our traditions with each other. Regardless of when it happened it did. This random, ragamuffin, diverse group of individuals became my people.

My shiny red dictionary defines people as “the members of a family or kinship”. I don’t share a single bit of DNA with my people and most of us have scattered to the winds now doing the things we studied so hard to do. But, they are still my people. Do you have the kind of people I have? Did you choose them? Did you choose each other? You should. Find some. Don’t be afraid of finding people that talk funny, or look different, or come from different places – they are the best kind. If you see me around town when I come to visit and you ask about my people, be prepared for a long answer.

We2 Good Guru Visits Corsino's, Says "Viva Italia!"

2011-09-30T10:33:00.000-05:00

Target: Corsinos

Target Address: 911 South Court Street Montgomery Al

Service: Dine in/Carry Out – Lunch and Dinner

Wow! I did not know that this little gem existed, that is until some friends of ours suggested that we meet there one day for lunch. Its real Italian, not out of the box stuff. Its real good too, well worth the drive, price and even the headache you will encounter with parking.

We were there for lunch and it turned out that it was Hero Sandwiches all around. I had the Italian Sausage Hero and the other three all had the Chicken Parmesan with extra sauce. While I did pick mine up for the first bite, I assure you without a doubt that it is knife and fork food. The bread was perfect, extremely soft on the inside, slight crunch on the outside. Its baked fresh every day.

The owner stopped at our table to check on us and I missed his name totally. With the Hero being carved up on my plate what he had to say sounded a lot like the Teacher on Charlie Brown. They tell me that only the Pizza is available at night, but that its quite possibly the best Pizza in town. I will say this, if the pizza is made with the same love that the sandwich was, it is the best pizza in town.

Guru Grade – Over all they get a 88 out of 100. Don’t let that 88 fool or bother you in any way though. The low score is reflective of the parking situation, and Momma Mia – its some bad parking. There is only one line of cars at the doorway and the rest of the people have to park across the street. Don’t be discouraged though, I would walk across I-85 for this food.

Who Wears Jort-Jorts? I Wore Jort-Jorts.

2011-09-28T17:26:00.001-05:00

Do you ever wonder what possesses someone to go out in public looking a certain way? I am disappointed almost every time I go to some public place where a lot of people are gathered because of the unfortunate decisions some folks make regarding their clothes or hairstyle or other things of that nature. Before I continue, allow me to say that this rant does not pertain to people like me who are just looks challenged. Some of us, no matter what we do, how we dress, how we fix our hair, can't help certain things like simply being old fashioned ugly. I am chief among this group and readily admit and accept this fact. I do, however, feel like I give it my best shot and do as good as I possibly can with the severely limited outward physical gifts that God blessed me with. For instance, you're not likely to find me pushing a buggy around Wal-Mart wearing a stained wife-beater t-shirt, pajama bottoms, and a pair of house shoes. I may not have much to work with but I can at least take the extra 90 seconds or so to put on an actual pair of pants, a regular t-shirt, and a pair of flip-flops before I make the trek into "town" to buy a bag of dog food, a case of Schlitz, and a can of potted meat. Good night, man! You couldn't tear yourself away from Dog, the Bounty Hunter long enough to put on some clothes before going out? This is not something I've seen in public only once or twice, either. I see it on a regular basis. Boggles the mind, I tell ya'.

While I'm at it, you ladies who like to wear your shirts a little short so as to expose your midriff? More power to you, I suppose. If you are tipping the scales at a reasonable weight and want to show the world your navel, then make it hap'n cap'n. Whatever floats your boat. But if your exposed midriff keeps us from being able to see your knees then we neither need nor want to see said midriff. There are few things more disturbing than catching a glimpse of that EXPOSED AND UNCOVERED, big ol' hang-me-down belly as it bounces by me in the food court while I'm trying to finish my allegedly Chinese bourbon chicken and pile of yellow rice soaked in soy sauce. By the way, does anyone else feel like they're traversing the game section on the midway at the state fair every time they walk through the food court? "Hey, man! Come here! A winner every time! Win your lady an inflatable Atlanta Braves tomahawk by shooting out this little red star with a BB machine gun! Or maybe she'd like this Quiet Riot mirror! Oh, and while you're at it would you like to try a sample of this mystery meat/chicken/beef off of this toothpick I've probably been picking my teeth with?" You sample offerers are coming in a little hot. But I digress. Anyway, I'm not talking about those of us who are heavy but have enough sense to dress appropriately. I'm talking about the blissfully unaware 700 pounder who thinks she's got the body of Shakira. Those hips may not lie but neither does that gut. Buy a bigger shirt.

All I'm asking is for folks to take a look in the mirror and then make an honest, the key word here is honest, assessment based on what you see. If it takes you 20 minutes to convince yourself that no one will notice that you combed your hair from just above your right ear all the way over the top of your head to just above your left ear, then we probably will. We can actually see your bald head through those nine strands of hair. This is not an indictment on comb-overs, either. I've seen some good ones where you'd never know it was a comb-over unless a stiff breeze hit the wearer's head from one side, got underneath their hair, and caused it to stand 18 inches straight up.

Heck, I fell vicitm to "I'm ignoring the mirror syndrome" myself once when I was a younger man. I actually found myself at the old Atlanta Highway Wal-Mart, of course it would be Wal-Mart, wearing a yellow and gray striped tank top with a pair of stone-washed, black cutoff jorts. It's not that I was wearing the jorts. They were actually somewhat in style in the late 80s and early 90s. It's that I had cut them off too short and the pockets were sticking out waaayyyyyy below the bottom of the legs of the jorts. Mortified, I bought a pair of fake, Wal-Mart brand Sun Britches and changed in my car in the parking lot. Ever have that dream where you're in a public place with no pants on? You know that embarrased, self-conscious feeling you have in the dream and then the relief you feel when you wake up? There was no waking up from my horrible jortmare. A simple, honest self-assessment in the mirror could have saved me from having to go through that traumatic experience. I'm certain I'd have made it onto The People of Wal-Mart website had websites and camera phones existed at the time.

Thankfully, they didn't and I'm probably a more conscientious, even paranoid, dresser because of it. I'm not saying I always make good decisions on the clothes I wear or that I ever look particularly good at all. I am saying that I at least give it an honest try. You can be certain that you will never see me in Wal-Mart wearing pajamas and house shoes, at the beach wearing a Speedo, or anywhere wearing black, stone-washed jort-jorts. You have my word.

We2 Food Guru Dines at Texas Roadhouse. See What He Thought.

2011-09-26T16:38:00.001-05:00

Target: Texas Roadhouse

Target Address: 7525 Eastchase Parkway, Montgomery Alabama

Service: Dine in/or Carry Out – Lunch and Dinner Menu (Kids Menu) (Average entrée - $14.62)

Know what I hate about chain restaurants? You’re going to get the same thing no matter if it’s here in the River Region or in Texas. Know what I like about chain restaurants? You’re going to get the same thing no matter if it’s here or in Texas. Love ‘em or leave ‘em, they are what they are and what they are, is a large part of the dining out experience. I fall to leave side more than not. So I will be doing a few reviews from time to time that are chain based. For the most part though, I like to look for those hidden gems.

Recently I had the occasion to go with co-workers to Texas Roadhouse, yee haw!! You walk in and there is something different, something you just can’t put your finger on. Wait, it’s something you wouldn’t want to put your finger on, peanut shells on the floor. Right from the start they have to score poorly on cleanliness. I know what you’re thinking; it’s part of the experience. In the world of food safety though, so is sweeping and mopping the floor. While the State Health Department seems to have no problem with this, I bet they would not allow shrimp carcasses on the floor of a seafood restaurant.

That aside, we ordered our meals. There was a great variety across the table. One ordered Grilled Chicken ($10.29), one ordered Ribs ($17.29 full slab) and for me it was the 6oz Dallas Filet ($16.29). The Chicken was tender and juicy with a great flavor so I was told. My Filet that I asked to be prepared Medium was, dare I say, perfect and thus the whole reason for this review of a chain restaurant. Then there were the Ribs and their great disappointment. The friend that had those reported that the smaller end of the rack was dry, tough and overcooked. Ribs can be hard and to nail them each and every time takes a lot of practice. I understand that normally Texas Roadhouse is really good with this, however on this occasion they missed the mark.

Between the three of us we had a variety of vegetables. I had broccoli carrots and yellow squash that were steamed just the way I like them with a little crunch. TIP OF THE DAY – squeeze a lemon over your steamed veggies and hang on for a new experience. My co-workers also had a side salad and the other had mashed potatoes, both were reported as great. No desert, not real sure how someone can have desert after all of the nuts, bread, meat and veggies; however they looked great. One last item that they did well on, my drink. I like an Arnold Palmer, and this was spot on.

Guru Grade – Overall they receive a 92 out of 100 points. In the words of the famed Mark Bullock, CLEAN UP!! Those peanut shells are both food and harborage for insects, even if it is part of the experience it does not make it right. Little bit of a wait time for the food, however they were pretty busy. Fast and courteous, very friendly staff and we wanted for nothing as our glasses were always full and her presence was constant. Food was well prepared with the exception of the Rib hiccup and the price isn’t bad for our business dinner or the family outing. It was a bit noisy because of the large crowd; however I saw no one having a bad time. I wonder if Willie will ever be in his corner on one of my trips there. Good job Texas Roadhouse; the Guru had a good time.

We2 Food Guru Takes on Casa Napoli and The Stockyard Grill

2011-09-21T11:18:00.000-05:00

Target: Casa Napoli
Target Address: 2215 US Hwy 231, Wetumpka Alabama
Service: Dine in/or Carry Out – Lunch and Dinner Menu

Had the opportunity to have a nice relaxing dinner after working in the yard all day in the hot sun. Showered up and set my sights on Casa Napoli, Wetumpka’s little secret on the hill. I almost don’t want to pen this review for fear of word getting out in the River Region about this place. Once I do, I may never get another seat.

When we arrived, the first thing I noticed was that the very thing that drew my attention there a few days before was gone, and that was them advertising Seafood Manicotti on the marquee. I was a little heartbroken, but not enough to make me turn and walk away though.

We proceeded inside and were seated at a candle lit table. I enquired about the advertised special from a few days before and to my surprise our waiter went and asked the Chef if he still had the makings for the special that was no longer. He did, and you guessed it, I ordered it.

Just before our food arrived, the lights left. Apparently the storm blowing up that day was not conducive to keeping the power on. Not to worry though. We were in no hurry and there was candle light. When the food arrived a short time later, my Seafood Manicotti was perfect, my wife had ordered Veal Parmesan and our little one had settled on straight up Spaghetti. All three dishes were as always, presented well and tasted wonderful.

Guru Grade – Overall they receive a 94 out of 100 points. Their Wait Staff and Food are always on target. Of the times we have eaten there, we have never had any issues with either. While the parking situation is so much better than it was with the new paving, its still an older location land locked on all four sides. So even though they went through great trouble to fix it, they had only so much to start with. Now for all of you River Region people outside of Wetumpka, forget you ever read this, this is OUR diamond leave it alone. All jokes aside, this family run business is well worth the drive from anywhere in Central Alabama. It’s a perfect place for Date Night!!

Target: Stockyard Grill
Target Address: 4500 Mobile Highway, Montgomery Alabama
Service: Dine in/or Carry Out – Breakfast and Lunch menu (Average entrée - $10.00)

This is a place that I have gone to a few times now for breakfast and for lunch. When it comes to breakfast, moooooo-ve over Hardees, Stockyard Grill is hands down the best breakfast value on the south end of Montgomery. This time I ordered their “Stockyard Special” which includes two eggs cooked to order, grits, choice of 5 different meats; toast or biscuit and a drink for $5.35. The eggs were ordered and delivered Over Easy. I went with the smoked sausage and it had a great taste. The grits were cooked perfectly and lightly buttered. I asked if the biscuits were homemade and they were not, so I ordered toast. However the nice lady waiting on me brought me a biscuit anyway to try out. I guess she could tell I was famished. Well, the toast was the choice to go with. While the biscuit was edible, it didn’t have any wow factor to it. There are other breakfast plates available and of course there is an al-a-Carte menu as well.

Let’s talk Lunch, as I have been there before for lunch. They serve salads ($6.36-$6.95), Burgers ($5.65-$6.65), Steaks (that vary in price) and a really good rotating menu of Lunch Specials ($7.35) that includes 2 Meat/3 veggies/Bread and Beverage. My favorite though, the Ribeye Sandwich. That’s right, an honest to goodness hand cut 5oz Ribeye, cooked to order and nestled between two halves of a soft bun. It’s just the right amount of beef on the right amount of bread. In other words that thing hangs off both sides and you better get your fork ready. Also they have a business card and on the back if you buy 5 Lunch Specials, the 6th one is on them.

They serve breakfast from 8am until 10am. Lunch is served from 10:30am until 2pm. The lunch crowd is much larger and a short wait may be in order, however it’s well worth that wait. Next time you are in the area, give them a try.

Guru Grade – Over all they get a 91 out of 100 points on the scorecard. The parking lot could use some work, but that may not be their entire fault since it is the Montgomery Stockyards Facility. The building is old, sort of smells like a Stockyard but not in the restaurant. During lunch you’re most likely to hit a wait time for a table to clear, but when it does the staff is quick to turn it around. All in all, great hidden gem on the south side of Montgomery. You may even want to buy a cow while you are there.

The We2 Food Guru Gets to Work

2011-09-19T22:48:00.001-05:00

Hello and allow me to introduce myself, well sort of. I am The Wetumpka Food Guru. I am stepping up to Thad’s call for a food critic in the River Region to sample our local cuisine and report back to you, his readers. So my loyalty will rest with you, his readers, and not to any local establishment.

To give you some background on me, I have been in the River Region for 41 years. While I am not a trained Chef, I have been exposed to some culinary creations that are phenomenal. While I do not work in the restaurant industry, I am currently a Certified Food Safety Manager through Experior, in good standing.

The criteria that will be used will be the same for every restaurant that is visited. What you will see is a washed version of the visit with a narrative to explain how the experience went. We’re going to grade the building, the food, the service and the value. We want to see clean places, tasty food at a good value and service service service. I have always said that I can stay home and cook almost anything I want, when I go out, I want to be taken care of. For the record, I tip that way too. I do not tip on some arbitrary percentage, I tip based on the service that I and those with me receive.

The only criterion that Thad has charged me with is that these places be in the River Region, that they be examined fairly and truthfully, without coming across as mean spirited. Check that Thad, I hope that in time you and your readers will come to rely on the results of these visits.

I want everyone to check Thad’s blogs for at least one review a week from the River Region. Also, if you want to suggest that I subject one of your favorite haunts to the rigid rigors of my pallet, drop me a note atWe2FoodGuru@elmore.rr.com or follow us on Facebook at The Wetumpka Food Guru, remember to click the “Like” button.

City Council Dog Chases, Catches Own Tail

2011-09-19T22:04:00.001-05:00

Here is the rundown from tonight's, September 19th, Wetumpka City Council meeting as copied from the Facebook page for this blog that Steve Pribulick was kind enough to write for us.

I found myself with the opportunity to attend a Wetumpka City Council Meeting, something I haven’t done in a long time. Now that I sit here typing, I remember why I stopped going. Dealing with the items that seem to cause heartburn with one or more Council members.

First of all I found some common ground with a Councilman tonight. The discussion was about the fencing, or the lack there of around the City Cemetery. Councilman Washington, after a more than lengthy session of reciting all of the different numbers before him, settled on wanting to replace the fencing with chain link fence at some $17k. In addition to the barrage of 200 or sets of figures, we also had to hear that tired song and dance about how his district is ALWAYS left out of things. This is where I found common ground with Councilman Hammock and I am certainly man enough to tell him and anyone else who cares to read about it. He doesn’t want to spend that money, on that fence. He would rather wait and spend more money on a heavier, more decorative fence. I couldn’t agree more!! Spend about 3 times as much and end up with a fence that will outlast all of the Council members that are voting on it. Now THAT’S good stewardship of the people’s money. Two thumbs up Councilman Hammock.
22 minutes ago · · 1 person
Steve Pribulick Next was the 2011-12 budget. All was good except for an amendment that explained that moving forward, employees who wished to sell back vacation time to the City could only sell back a total 80 hours per year, and only after that had taken 40 in that year. Sounded pretty simple to me, prevents City employees from dumping large amounts of vacation time for cash, not a bad plan if there are no other rules in place. Councilman Washington however could not wrap his head around this one. In fact he seemed a little incensed that employees are allowed to accrue vacation time from one year to the next in the first place. However at the end of his very long speech and trying to grasp the numbers, he finished with saying that employees should be allowed to accrue vacation time year to year. What? Now he is arguing with himself! Yes they can, no they can’t, yes they can – I was getting rather dizzy myself.
22 minutes ago · · 1 person
Steve Pribulick Then came a beautification project alone North Bridge Street to out past the City Cemetery. Again, on the surface I am thinking “hey, great idea, new trees, shrubs, flowers/ then a few years new heavy duty fencing around the Cemetery should look great”. Then Councilman Washington spoke up. (There seems to be a theme here doesn’t there?) He asked the Mayor if this was in his District. Oh my God, even I know it is and don’t live there. In fact someone should have told him to look at the District map in front of him on the easel to check for himself. Now we all know this is just his way of grandstanding to set up the next question. But to someone in the audience that is new to the ‘game’, he looks like an idiot for not knowing if something is located in his district. Turns out after another long trip to get to his point, he was mad because this beautification was going to take place in his district. Dude, they are handing you a Shovel Ready Project, now there is a term were all tired of. It’s paid for by someone else, it’s planned by someone else, and its being performed by someone else; where I come from this is called a slam dunk!! Just sit back and take credit for voting to approve to spend someone else’s money to beautify your district. Who cares you weren’t consulted; take the credit on a freebee for once. Oh and remember, this is after the meeting opened with his district ALWAYS getting skipped when it’s time to spend the money.
22 minutes ago · · 1 person
Steve Pribulick This item didn’t really cause a lot of fuss, lots of questions from Washington, but I know firsthand where he was headed and I was actually glad someone was asking about it. It’s a drainage project that deals with a drain pipe gone bad. Speaking from experience with this City, they better make sure on this one so more questions may need to have been asked. Don’t believe me, ask them who owns 706 Tallassee Street and why.
22 minutes ago · · 1 person
Steve Pribulick Last two items dealt with hiring. Councilman Jones suggest that the Mayor and Police Chief be allowed to work out the details on hiring, which means lifting some kind of hiring freeze that we will come back to. What a novel idea, the department head and Mayor who both control the hiring in other cities like ours, working together to work out a personnel issue. Nope, this time it was Councilwoman Holt and not Councilman Washington. I think even he was tired at this point. We were treated to a very good reason not to lift a hiring freeze that dealt with the economy, lack of money, and so on. All of this was right before she and the others decided to run the ‘end around’ and vote to hire two Police Officers anyway, without touching the hiring freeze. Wait, it’s like when Councilman Washington was arguing with himself about letting people accrue vacation year to year and then not allowing him to. We keep the hiring freeze in place because the economy is in the dumper leading to no money to pay people, but we hire them anyway. Just when I thought I understood this meeting. The last item was to fix putting the cart before the horse thing. A department head promised a job to someone, without the Mayor being involved, and now they have to scramble to fix things. Wait; here is a perfect example of why the Mayor should be out from under a hiring freeze, to keep stuff like this from happening. Basically the council is telling the Department Heads and Mayor, you’re not smart enough to hire people and you have to jump through our hoops first.
21 minutes ago · · 1 person
Steve Pribulick Final thought. Is this Council imposed hiring freeze correct to start with? Someone smarter than I will have to answer this one. I was always taught in my Government classes that Council is like the Legislature; it controls the money that the Mayor (like the Governor or President) wants to use to fund things like projects and people. So in essence if the Council or Legislature wants to freeze hiring, they de-fund or not fund a request. Unless my education was wrong all of those years, the Mayor and Department Heads have the reign of running the day to day business of Government, and the council thumbs up or thumbs down the money for it. Personnel and Project Managing isn’t their bailiwick. Someone help with this one?

Happy Birthday, Mama

2011-09-06T17:43:00.000-05:00

(Un-proofread)

This Friday is special. This Friday, September 9th, will mark the first time since 1929 that Dorothy Louise Hankins has not been on this earth to celebrate her birthday. Less than two months shy of 82 years she spent on this earth. Some people know her as Dot, Miss Dot, or Mrs. Hankins, the preacher's wife. I have cousins who always called her Aunt Dottie. I called her mama. She may celebrate her birthday in Heaven this year but that doesn't make the day any less special for those of us she left behind back on July 27th when she flew away from this world to go and meet her Savior in the next.

She spent the last five weeks of her life in a nursing home, sometimes unaware of where she was. One day while I was visiting her, she asked my dad how I got in and told him that he must have left the front door unlocked. She thought she was at home. Thankfully, with the exception of her last few days, she knew who we all were. She might have to think for a minute for a name, but she knew. Her long term memory wasn't too bad. It was the short term stuff where she really seemed to struggle. I wrote in an earlier post that she, without fail, always introduced me to her caregivers as "my only son." I am. I like that she did that. It reaffirmed how much she loved me and caused me to remember how much she did for me over the 42 years of my life that I was blessed to have shared with her.

She had among her 14 siblings a sister we all called Aunt Pete. Aunt Pete had a cabin on a lake somewhere. I don't remember exactly which lake it was but I do remember going there and swimming and fishing and having all sorts of fun. My earliest memory of mama rescuing me from something happened at Aunt Pete's place on the lake. I couldn't have been more than four years old when I decided the hill that led down to the seawall at the water's edge would be a lot of fun to descend on a tricycle. Even though that has been almost 40 years ago, I remember it only took me about three feet to realize this ride was not going to end well. I zipped down the hill toward the water probably not realizing how grave the situation had quickly become. At the last moment, however, an arm grabbed me and knocked both the tricycle and me over. It was mama. She had run down the hill and caught me before I plunged over the wall into the water. She never learned how to swim and neither did I until I was probably eight or nine years old. Who knows what might have happened had she not morphed into a 40-something year old Wilma Rudolph that day? She scooped me up in her arms and I cried. Mama's are always good at comforting. Mine was the best. My cousin Robert, Aunt Pete's son, mentioned my ill-fated trip to the lake place at mama's funeral. We laughed.

If mama ever ran again for the rest of her years, I didn't see it. Her knees were swollen and stiffened by arthritis for as long as I can remember and it grew worse and worse with each passing year. It was difficult for her to do things as simple as going to church but she always managed to do that. When I was on the tennis team in high school, she could almost always be seen sitting courtside to watch me play a game she had no idea about. She was a faithful pastor's wife for half-a-century and only stopped attending church when it simply became too difficult and painful for her to travel even a short distance.

Unable to regularly attend the birthday parties of her grandchildren or make it to their houses on Christmas mornings, she would always make sure that she sent my dad to the mall or toy store to get whatever extravagant item they just couldn't live without that year. She and my dad always remembered to call their children and grandchildren on their birthdays to sing what was always a rousing rendition of Happy Birthday. On her birthday, we'd all try and figure out what we could get her. She often ended up with clothes or maybe some jewelry. I usually ended up getting her something related to the University of Alabama's football team or the Atlanta Braves with a few crossword puzzle and wordfind books thrown in. She liked doing puzzles. She LOVED 'Bama football and her Braves. All except Chipper Jones because he had cheated on his wife. I don't know if Chipper's ex-wife forgave him or not but my mama sure didn't! I would pick at her and cheer for Chipper when he'd come to bat. Unless it meant the difference between the Braves winning or losing, I'm pretty sure she wanted Chipper to strike out every at bat, make an error on every ball hit in his direction, and have a family of redbugs make a home in his jock strap.

Mama was a compassionate, loving, caring, strong, and faithful wife, mother, and Christian. She took care of those less fortunate than her and I can't remember a time when someone wasn't welcome in our home. Whether it was a friend of mine, someone from the church, a relative(I had an aunt and an uncle who lived with us, not at the same time, for several years), or even the guy who dad had paid a little money to for cutting our grass(a rarity as that was the only time that I remember anyone cutting our grass besides us). She also had a boat-load of personality. She and my dad would often playfully bicker with one another much to the delight of those of us who were lucky enough to witness it. She'd tell him he better be glad she couldn't get up and come after him or she'd spank him. I thank God that He gave me two parents who knew how to have fun and laugh and enjoy life regardless of the circumstances.

She went downhill fast in the last week of her life. She was in a lot of pain and stayed, as she would've called it, "doped up" on pain medication. She'd sleep some and then with a start, she would open her eyes wide and cry for help. This was when she began to have trouble recognizing some of us. It was difficult. Especially for my dad. For 61 years they'd been together. Longer than that if you count the courtship. It hurt. Then, on Monday, something happened. For several hours my mama woke up. She joked and laughed and smiled and for a while that day we got to see her the way we'd known for all those years. It was good. I'm sure God gave us that day for us to say our goodbyes to her and for her to do the same.

She left us six weeks ago tomorrow and I miss her greatly. I know she's in a perfect place now but a guy can get sad when he thinks about not ever seeing his mama again. Sometimes tapping out some words on a computer keyboard helps. In fact, it has today. Though September 9th will be weird, even kind of tough without her here. I have to believe that this will be the best birthday she's ever had since she'll be celebrating in Heaven. Maybe Jesus can tell her I said happy birthday and that I'll see her soon.

Wetumpka City Officials' Behavior Defies Explanation and Logic

2011-08-13T14:38:00.000-05:00

I just used the word "fraught" in a Facebook post. "Fraught with controversy" is the context in which I used it, referring to virtually every accomplishment of the Obama administration. I use the term accomplishment loosely since an accomplishment for one may be a step or ten backward for another. This got me to thinking about how fraught with controversy our current administration of elected city officials here in Wetumpka has been for the better part of the last three years. This is something that has confounded me since it began. I've never quite been able to deduce why this has been the case. Just when we thought things might take a turn for the better someone surprises us, maybe surprises is too strong a word, with some ridiculous notion that they know more or better about a particular situation or issue than someone else and chaos ensues. In hindsight, alliances within this administration appear to have been made early, perhaps even before any of the officials even took office. The hallmark of this administration will not be one of development and growth. It will be one of near constant petty bickering and micromanagement. One marked by egos and personal agendas rather than enriching and improving the lives of those of us who choose to live, work, and do business in Wetumpka. Certainly not one to be proud of unless dissension and discord were among the goals you wanted to achieve. If so, you should enjoy your legacy.

Something that this group of officials has not been fraught with is leadership. I like what the first paragraph of Wikipedia says under the heading of leadership:

"Leadership has been described as the “process of social influence in which one person can enlist the aid and support of others in the accomplishment of a common task".[1] Definitions inclusive of the nature of leadership have also emerged. Alan Keith of Genentech states that, "Leadership is ultimately about creating a way for people to contribute to making something extraordinary happen." According to Ken "SKC" Ogbonnia, "effective leadership is the ability to successfully integrate and maximize available resources within the internal and external environment for the attainment of organizational or societal goals.""

According to this definition of leadership, there has been precious little on display with this group. There have been several people who wanted to lead. Actually, they didn't want to lead as much as they just wanted to be able to tell a person or group of people, city employees usually, what to do. They wanted to boss somebody around. At least that's how it has appeared to me. You would think that mature, responsible adults who made what I can only assume to be a conscious decision to be a public servant would be able to act as such. Public servants and mature, responsible adults, that is. I'm not sure what motivated each indiviual to seek the particular office in which they are now situated. I can only hope that the next several months brings some sort of epiphany to someone causing them to actually seek to do something constructive with their office rather than more of the same, selfish antics we have all grown accustomed to seeing. Rumors, and that's all I know them to be at this point, would indicate that at least some of them will be seeking the same or a different office next year when election time rolls around. I would remind them of the results of the elections in the Town of Elmore a few years ago which saw a near clean sweep of every incumbent because the citizens of that town grew weary of the manner in which that administration conducted the town's business. I'm not convinced that that is not what we are headed for here. Guilt simply by association can often be just as dangerous as guilt by action or inaction. I'm not necessarily endorsing such a movement but I do believe that it is a very real possibility.

I've said it before and I must say it again. Those of us out here, outside the proverbial "halls of power", outside the existing good ol' boy network, we don't give a rat's toenail who is the most powerful or who calls the shots. We don't care who gets credit for bringing retail or industry or entertainment or anything else to town. We don't care who comes up with and implements the ideas that improve our quality of life in this city we love. We just care that someone does it. The folks in charge now, by and large, haven't gotten the job done and most of us are tired of it. My calendar says they have about one year left to make some serious changes or risk being sent back to their respective districts having distinguished themselves only as being part of one of the most, if not the most tumultuous, embarassing periods in Wetumpka's recent history.

Mama's Getting Ready For Her Trip Home

2011-07-25T11:54:00.001-05:00

I'm sure there are those who might read this who would question the appropriateness of writing about something as deeply personal as the death of a loved one, especially since it has only been in the last hour that I was told that mama's doctor told my dad that she was "at the end of her life" and that he would do all he could to make her comfortable. That it might take two weeks, maybe a little longer, until she leaves this life and begins her next one in Heaven. I've always been one to be transparent regarding my feelings. Good and bad, happy and sad. I find comfort in knowing that someone else cares enough to say "I'm praying for you" or "Is there anything I can do to help?" When I went through a difficult divorce 17 years ago, on particularly tough days, I would write long letters to no one in particular detailing how I might be struggling or hurting on that day. I suppose I never really intended to give them to anyone but I always felt relieved of some measure of pain on those days when pen met paper. Technology now affords me the opportunity to do both on this blog. If you'll indulge me for a few minutes, I'd like to share with you my thoughts and feelings on this difficult, yet strangely peaceful, day.

Strangely peaceful is not how I expected this day to be. I've played it in my head many times over the years. I'm a worrier and I'm good at it so I've thought about it a lot. Don't get me wrong. I'm sad. There are tears and it's hard to see the words I'm typing but somehow there is a peace in my soul. Some may say that it's because I've been preparing myself for this day for years. Maybe I have but at this point, as I consider the reality before me, I can honestly say that there is nothing that this world can offer than can prepare you to hear the words that my father, and in turn, my sisters and I, heard this morning. There is, however, someone who exists supernaturally beyond the barriers of this world who is more than able to provide comfort. In the Apostle Paul's letter to the Philippians, in chapter four, Paul encouraged the believers in Philippi to pray about everything and that "...the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." You may or may not choose to believe that. I've heard that passage read and spoken of my whole life and I'm not sure how confident I was that when I really needed it that that kind of peace would really be available.

It is.

I can't explain it any more than I can explain quarks and neutrons or how gravity keeps us from flying off of this rock and out into the darkest recesses of this massive universe. All I know is that I feel it and the only explanation I can come up with is exactly what, or who, Paul said was the source of it. God. It's as real as the Barber nose on my face.

There will be harder days to come, I know. There'll be holidays and birthdays and other times when mama's absence will be painfully real. But even as we prepare for mama's great home-going, I know that we don't have to be afraid. That we don't have to trudge through life without hope. If this peace is real, then the God who gives it is real. If God is real, then His promises in His word are true. If His promises are true then I know that the rest of this life will be like only a day when compared to eternity in Heaven where my mama can walk again. Where she can remember all the good things again. And where we'll be reunited with her again forever. Life is hard but God is faithful and I believe it. Today, perhaps more than any day before.

Special Wetumpka Council Meeting Fails to have a Quorum

2011-07-15T17:27:00.000-05:00

I just attended a special called Wetumpka City Council meeting where a quorum was not present. The meeting was to address concerns regarding the mayor's termination of a city employee. No action was taken other than to call another special meeting for Monday night, July 18, following the regularly scheduled city council meeting. I'll be writing more about this later but you should plan on coming if you can. There is something rotten in the state of Denmark. The city attorney, Councilperson Holt, Councilman Washington, and Councilman Carter appear to have something up their proverbial sleeves. Conjecture and experience would seem to indicate it could be some sort of move to...wait for it...MAKE THE MAYOR LOOK BAD! GASP! That's my opinion, at least. I could be wrong. That is certainly not beyond the realm of possibility. My question for anyone who knows is this: What constitutes a meeting of a city council? If there is a vote? If there is a quorum present? Anyone care to shed some light on this for me?

No More Night, No More Pain, No More Tears...

2011-06-27T16:59:00.000-05:00

(FYI...Not proofread)

I stood for a few minutes and watched her sleep. With every little twitch I expected her to open her eyes and look at me and say "Hey, son!" This would be followed immediately by, "How are my babies?" The "her" I am referring to is my mother. The babies that she would've been referring to had she stirred are my children, 10 and 5, one boy, one girl. I came along a little late in my parents' lives, especially with it being 1969. They would both turn 40 years old within six months of my debut in this world. This Friday, July 1st will mark their 61st wedding anniversary. To my knowledge, it will be the first time since 1950 that they won't sleep in the same house on their anniversary. Notice that I said the same house, not the same bed. In all of my 42 years, my parents have slept in separate beds in different rooms. Four children and a 61 year marriage would seem to indicate that it had nothing to do with a lack of fondness for one another. I don't remember ever asking why this was the case. It's just the way it's always been. It's the way it will always be. My mama became a resident of Wetumpka Health and Rehabilitation one week ago today and it's unlikely she'll go home with my dad anymore.

So, she slept. I didn't stay for long. Only a few minutes. Long enough, however to recognize how our roles had been reversed from that spring night in March 42 years ago. I pondered the countless times mama had probably watched me sleep over the years. From those first days when I was a newborn to the last few days I lived at home before I got married and moved out. How many times might she have stood at my bedside and prayed for my health and safety or that I'd make wise decisions in whatever season of life I happened to be in. I probably let her down more often than not, at least in that respect. I hope I did better as I got older.

My fifth grade year was a rough one. I was at a new school in an area where we new almost nobody. My classmates weren't exactly lining up to befriend me. Just the opposite, actually. At least that's what it felt like. I cried a lot and pretended to be sick a lot. Anything that would give me a chance to leave that horrible place and just go home. I left home every morning looking out the bus window watching mama wave to me until the bus was out of sight. The bus trip home in the afternoons was decidedly happier. I knew that as soon as I got off the bus, ran across the yard, and busted through the door of our little house that there would be as many Little Debbie snack cakes as I wanted and as much chocolate milk as I could drink. For a 10-year old boy, an Oatmeal Creme Pie and chocolate milk was a salve for the soul. Actually, mama giving me those things was what gave them their power.

After I got divorced in 1995, mama did her best to comfort me. She listened to me cry and assured me that everything was going to be okay. I suppose I didn't realize it at the time, I was too focused on my own pain, but the divorce hurt her, too. She never lashed out or expressed any anger toward the woman who would soon be my ex-wife, only disappointment that things didn't work out. It was at mama's house that I finally decided to take off my wedding band. She took it and put it in a drawer somewhere. I'm not sure what ever became of it after that. It was at mama's house that I opened up the envelope containing the papers that said I was no longer married. I cried again. She comforted again. Mamas are good at that sort of thing.

She was able to attend my when I married my beautiful wife, Gigi. She smiled a lot and was happy that I'd found someone. She might have even been a little surprised that I'd found someone. She did, after all, live with me for 23 years. I remember her excitement and joy when I told her she'd be a grandmother for the sixth time in 2001 and then again in 2006. She has been a model grandmother to her grandchildren, all seven of them. She has loved and pampered and spoiled them just like she was supposed to do.

From October, 1951 until March of 1992, she was a mama with at least one child living in the house with her and my father. That's a long time. Almost 41 years. She cooked and cleaned and washed clothes and, during the years that I was at home, took care of my dad and me. We'd have been in a pickle without her. Probably would've starved to death with a pantry and refrigerator full of food. At least once the Chef Boyardee ravioli ran out. She cooked everyday for us back before every house had a microwave. Cubed steak, fried chicken, hamburgers, salmon patties, mashed potatoes, and, for me especially, LOTS of french fries and scrambled eggs. I never remember hearing her gripe or complain. She was doing what she was called to do. She taught Sunday School, sang in the choir, and made sure the Lord's Supper was ready on fifth Sundays. She ironed and swept and worked tirelessly, all the while singing hymns from one of the Baptist Hymnals that were always close at hand at our house. Mama did things the way mamas are supposed to. Lots of love, grace, mercy, tenderness, and patience.

It's sad. To see a woman who was once so lively and vibrant be rendered utterly helpless by arthritis, dementia, and, well, just old age. As I said before, I stood and watched her sleep for a few minutes. Her breathing sounded somewhat labored but she looked peaceful. I put my hand on hers for a moment before turning to leave and that's when the tears came. It seems so unfair for one who has selflessly done so much for so many, so much for me, for so long to be confined to a bed, unable to hear, unable to walk, unable to do even a fraction of what she did so well for almost 80 years. I walked out of her room and down the hall past the nurses' desk. I stopped to thank the nurse on duty for taking care of my mama. She assured me that she would continue to do just that and she gave me a reassuring smile as I turned and walked away. I believed her.

I believe her still because I know that God is faithful even though I am not. He promised He would never leave His children. He hasn't left me or my sisters or my father. He hasn't left any of my nephews, nieces, or my own children who call my mother "Mawmaw." And He hasn't left mama. As believers, we have access to eternal hope and to peace that passes all understanding. I experience the peace every day in the midst of this. I rely on the hope that no matter what happens, even death, that this world is not the the end and death is not final for the believer. Whatever ails my mother now will soon be healed. Not necessarily in this life, but most assuredly in the next. Whether that happens in 6 months or 6 years or even longer. She will walk again. If there's cooking in Heaven, she'll do that again. She'll know exactly where she is all the time and she won't get confused anymore. She'll also sing plenty of those hymns from that old hymnal just like she did when I was a child. Only then, she'll be singing them in person to the One who died so that she, and all of us who call Jesus our Savior, can live forever with no more tears. Do you know Him?

I'm Afraid I'm Going to Have to Ask You to SHUT UP!

2011-05-25T12:14:00.000-05:00

Two wrongs don't make a right. I'm aware of that. My response to what I'm about to describe to you is probably just as wrong as what I'm writing about here. Also, this marks the first time that I've titled a blog entry using a bad word. Words in this case. Yeah, I know. There are worse words and phrases than "shut up." My daughter considers it a bad word, though, and so it is officially a bad word. You see, my wife and I have tried to teach our children that there are words and actions that are impolite and inappropriate. We're not perfect and neither are our children. I freely acknowledge that. One thing that I think we have done a relatively good job at is teaching them when it is appropriate for them to sit quietly. Among those times would be, of course, church. Movie theaters also fall into this category as do libraries. I've sort of always operated under the assumption that this was one of the easier lessons to teach a child. I won't get into the whole clichéd thing about what happens when we assume but you know what I mean. I've apparently assumed incorrectly.

My 5 year-old daughter and I attended my 4th grade son's awards day ceremony at this school this morning. Mrs. Willis, the principle, welcomed those in attendance. We all clapped and the procession of students began to cross the stage in the student activity center. It was a quiet, respectful ceremony...for about 45 seconds. That was about the time that one, then two, then 7, then too many to count decided it would be a good time to converse with their neighbor. What began as a murmur quickly grew into multiple, practically full-volume conversations between adults. Not children, there was some of that, but mostly adults! I heard no less than three cell phone conversations occurring during the ceremony. These were not conversations occurring right next to me, mind you, but across the room! Come on, people! Certainly you can do better that this. Maybe not, though.

If this were the first time I've experienced something like this then I might be inclined to simply write it off as an anomalous occurrence. I've attended many events similar in nature over the last couple of years where whatever happening on stage is secondary to socializing with others. Graduations, plays, pageants, and assemblies of all sorts have fallen victim to the maddening din of rudeness. Yep. I said it. It's rude. It's also inconsiderate and selfish and most of you should know better. Not everyone was behaving in this manner but those who were made it sound like an unsupervised lunchroom full of second graders on chili crispito day. I caught the glances of several others who were as dumbstruck by this display as I was. We shook our heads and shrugged our shoulders in helpless frustration. Maybe more holders of the microphone, those who are on stage speaking, should employ what we'll refer to as the Preacher Hankins method of quieting a crowd. I'm not Preacher Hankins but my father is. When I was in 8th or 9th grade, I decided to have a little share time with whatever buddy of mine happened to be sitting next to me in church. My father, his big, booming voice extolling the virtues of a life spent following Christ, stopped cold in his tracks and said, "Thad, you better zip it right now." I have related that story many times in my life by saying, "You ain't been called down 'til you've been called down from the pulpit by your preacher who also happens to be your father." It wasn't pretty or fun. My ears turned red and I was more embarrassed than I ever remember being before or since. A funny thing happened, though. I became more selective about the things I needed to say aloud in church and even when I determined something did need to be said, it was whispered. In fact it was whispered in as whispery a voice as humanly possible so as not to raise the ire of the preacher again.

If principals and teachers and guest speakers and masters of ceremony all over the country would occasionally call a couple of people out and make an example of them by embarrassing them and pointing out the rudeness of their behavior, then maybe others who would behave similarly would think twice before conversing. Maybe not, but it sure would make those of us who try and sit quietly and respectfully feel better! My rant is done and I can now go about my day in relative peace. Thank you for indulging me. Enjoy Foghat.

That Was Awkward

2011-05-23T19:49:00.000-05:00

Wanted to post something but too much pizza on this pizza night at the Hankins household has rendered me complacent. So, here is a repost from June 15, 2009. Enjoy. Or don't. I'm complacent right now, remember?

I was at a family reunion yesterday for my wife's family. Maybe forty or fifty people give or take a few. In the South, someone is always asked to say a blessing before eating. There was some discussion as to who it would be and when it was finally decided upon, my brother-in-law, Brad, began to pray. About five seconds into the prayer, some unfortunate soul decided that was the time to walk into the house through the front door. If you've never been the person who walks unaware into the midst of a group of hungry, praying southerners, all the while continuing the conversation you had started with someone outside, prior to the blessing, well, you don't want to be. Trust me on this. I've been there. The voice that in reality may be only slightly louder than you might talk to someone in a library, becomes a scream in such a situation. Which got me to thinking about other embarrassing moments. Such as...

Waving at someone whom you think is waving at you, when they are actually waving at someone behind you. It can be tough turning a full-fledged wave into a stretch or a move to fix your hair. I never know how to react when this happens to me, regardless of whether I'm the waver or the faked-out wavee. If I'm the waver, I kind of want both people to think I was waving at them even if I've never met the guy I wasn't waving at. If I'm the guy who waved incorrectly, I want to act like there is someone I'm waving at behind the guy who waved at the guy behind me. Whew. Turn the old tables on him!

This one may be unique to working in a phone store, but...answering a question that you think someone is asking you when they are actually asking someone on a bluetooth, wireless earpiece. I usually say out loud, "Well, I'm an idiot. You weren't talking to me." Luckily, they don't hear that because they are so engrossed in the real conversation.

Then, there's the time I extended my right hand to shake hands with a man who had no right hand. Awkward! The bad thing about that is I knew him, his name was Jim, and I was aware he didn't have a right hand and I did it anyway. He kind of chuckled and grabbed my right hand with his left hand and that always feels really weird. Stupid me.

By the way, is it ever okay to shake someone's hand as they are exiting the bathroom? Or worse, they have just turned around from doing their business and haven't even made it to the sink to wash their hands yet? I have a friend who was at church one Sunday and had just finished his business at the urinal and turned around to head to the sink. He swears a guy said, "Hey Jojo(not his real name). How are you?" And reached out to shake his hand. My friend shook his hand. Gross.

Speaking of church, a friend and I once went to a revival service at his church which started at 7:00 p.m. We walked in while the congregation was singing and sat down about halfway to the front with some friends of ours. They finished the song and then the pastor called on someone to CLOSE the service in prayer and we left. Three minutes, tops. Apparently, church started at 6:00 p.m. I wondered why everyone was looking at us so funny.

And, of course, the old I'm walking along, I almost trip over an invisible rope, now I must jog for ten feet and look back to try and see the invisible guys who were holding the invisible rope.

I know this is sort of a pointless post but things have been kind of heavy here lately so I thought I'd try to lighten things up a bit. Ain't life fun?!? Tell me some of your most embarrassing moments in the comments section below. Or, just laugh at me and say nothing, which is what most of you will do(minus the laughing, I suspect). Oh, and if anyone knows Steve Calloway, ask him about the time he and I were at McDonald's one Sunday night after church and he ignored the elderly ladies who were trying to talk to him. He'll know what you mean!

Another Reason Why Wetumpka Can't Grow: The Gladys Kravitz Syndrome

2011-05-05T15:41:00.000-05:00

Ok. Here's the deal. I live in the River Oaks subdivision which is in Wetumpka's district 4, represented by Councilman Chris Carter. My house is adjacent to a large, unused, partially wooded tract of land that is owned by the Poarch Creek Indians who also run the Riverside Casino. Several weeks ago, following a city council meeting, I was standing outside city hall talking with Councilman Carter, his wife, and a neighbor of mine. Among other things, I mentioned to Mr. Carter that I had been having a problem with people walking down a path that had been created between my fence and the wooded area that the tribe owns. This path between another neighborhood and mine leads right by my bedroom window and the bedroom window of one of my children. It was not unusual for us to hear people talking outside our window at all hours of the night. I don’t know if you have ever been awakened by voices talking outside your bedroom window in the wee hours of the morning but take my word for it, it can be a little frightening. There were many times when my wife had put the kids in bed and was lying in bed herself watching TV when she would call me, afraid because of people standing outside our bedroom window. A few weeks after this discussion took place, my wife noticed something in the back corner of our yard. She went to see what it was and found that someone had thrown various pieces of clothing over the fence into our yard. I was at work, so she took a picture and sent it to me. There were socks, a pair of underwear, and a shirt. She looked on the other side of the fence and saw more items of clothing as well as a very large, rotting fish. She called me and asked if I thought she should call her father, Wetumpka's mayor. I told her if it made her feel better, then she should. She did and in a little while a police officer came by, took all the clothes with him, looked around the edge of the woods on the other side of the house and then left. A few days later, Gigi's dad told us that he had met with the casino police and other casino officials. They all agreed that clearing out all the underbrush and some of the trees from the wooded area might prevent things such as this from occurring again as well as cut down on the foot traffic on the path between the Meadowbrook neighborhood and River Oaks. The tribal officials also decided to build a fence from the corner of the fence of the house they own in Meadowbrook, the residents of that house were having similar problems, to the corner of my fence at the back of my yard. Within two weeks or so, work had begun on this project and as it stands today the fence is done, all of the underbrush has been cleared along with some of the trees, and you can now see the entrance to the neighborhood from my back yard. It looks great.

Among the things that the guys clearing the land found in the woods were many well-walked trails, beer bottles, drug paraphernalia, and animal carcasses, one of which was wrapped in some sort of material which led them to be unsure as to whether it was an animal or perhaps a human body. They called the casino police who were able to determine that it appeared to be a deer. Needless to say we were flabbergasted that there had apparently been so much activity within just a few feet of our house. I expressed my appreciation to the casino employees who had cleared the land and told me all that they had found, assuming that the issue had been resolved. All we were waiting for now was for the large piles of brush to be carried away. That's when the fun began. I came home for lunch one day last week and saw my next door neighbor and another neighbor who lives about three houses down and across the street from me standing in the next door neighbor's yard, craning their necks and trying to see something that was going on the empty lot where the work was going on. I rolled down my window and said something like, "Looks good doesn't it?" Thinking that they were pleased that so much work had gone into improving the looks of the wooded area which is also next to the entrance to our neighborhood. I don't remember either of their responses if there was a response at all. I have been told by numerous sources in the last few days that my neighbor across the street is unhappy because the city truck that goes around town and picks up limbs and such went across the legal right-of-way to pick up some of the brush and limbs that were cleared from the vacant lot. They didn't help clear the land. They didn't operate any heavy machinery to push any of the debris into a pile. They simply went too far, past the right-of-way, onto the private property to pick up the brush. I'm told that my neighbor was there, camera in hand, snapping pictures to catch these people perpetrating their dastardly deed.

I haven't spoken to the city employee in question. I'm not even sure how far onto the lot he went to retrieve the brush. Technically, If I'm not mistaken, the city ordinance does state that brush and limbs and other things of that nature should be put at the curb for pick up. Knowing this city employee, he was probably asked by casino officials if he could pick the stuff up and said yes just because he's a nice guy. The biggest part of the problem for me is that this/these neighbors who loathe the mayor say that that 1) this is not "our" problem. I can only assume by "our" they mean the neighborhood. The neighborhood which I live in. It is my yard all this people walk into when they leave the tribal owned land. 2) They believe that none of this would have been done if the mayor's daughter didn't live in the house next to the area in question. This is where the seething comes in.

I don't give a flying rip who the mayor is. If I have an issue that causes my wife and children to be afraid because strangers are constantly walking right outside our window at all hours of the night then I'm going to talk to whomever I have to talk to get it taken care of. I talked to my councilman, let me reiterate this point, IN THE PRESENCE OF THE NEIGHBOR IN QUESTION, and both agreed at that point that some thing could and should be done. Nothing was. Apparently, in the eyes of these people and at least a couple of members of the city council, being related to the mayor relegates my family to some sort of second-class citizens who can never express any concern about anything to anyone, let alone expect any relief, for fear of simpletons like this guy who dislike the mayor, city employees, and my family so much that they'll do whatever they can to make our lives more difficult. This may or may not be brought up at the city council meeting today. I'll be working and can't attend. It will be recorded on video and I will link to the videos for anyone who cares to watch.

Right now, I'm stopping because I'm getting really angry and don't want to say anything I shouldn't. Agree or disagree with whether the city employee should've "worked on private property." That's your prerogative. But, at the end of the day, it's this sort of petty, immature, hurtful, and mean-spirited behavior that is keeping our city from becoming all it can be. That is all.

Chasing the Twins...In Memory of my Uncle Ralph Who Went to Heaven Last Night

2011-05-01T17:25:00.002-05:00

My Uncle Ralph was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis over 40 years ago. He retired from preaching and slowly, his health began to deteriorate. By the time he moved in with my family, after the death of my Aunt Bunny, my mother's twin sister, in 1990, he couldn't walk and was mostly confined to a recliner where he pored over his massive baseball card collection, watched any sport that happened to be on TV, and became my friend. When Aunt Bunny died he probably never thought he'd be reunited with her sooner rather than later. He probably never expected to live more than 20 years after that. I'm glad he did, though I neglected to visit him in the last years of his life. My loss. I'll be speaking at his funeral on Wednesday and count it an honor. I'm reposting this article he wrote for my blog back in 2009 in his memory. We will miss him here, but I can only imagine how happy he is now to be reunited in Heaven with my Aunt Bunny who took care of him for so many years. Can't wait to see them both again.

My mom and dad

My Aunt Bunny and Uncle Ralph

By Ralph Smith

(Commonly known as Uncle Ralph)

It was 1949. Harry Truman was in the White House, the Braves were in Boston, and I was in the U. S. Air Force. I had never heard of Elvis, or Viet Nam, or the Internet. I had never seen a television, a mini-skirt, or a cell-phone. Every jukebox was playing "The Lovesick Blues" by a guy named Hank Williams. I'd never heard of him before leaving for Germany a year earlier. Little did I know that I was coming to his home town, and arriving on his birthday, September 17.

I was sent to Maxwell Field to be re-assigned to some other base. I arrived on Saturday and went to church on Sunday, where I met a pair of pretty twin sisters, Those Twins have been discussed previously on this blog, and if you're wondering why I'm telling all this, I'll give you a clue, as Hank would say. If this story hadn't happened pretty much as it did happen, many of the people reading this blog wouldn't be here. Come to think of it, this blog wouldn't be here! So pay attention!

There were a lot of men coming through the relocation center at Maxwell at that time, for various reasons, and the regular staff was snowed under. Hundreds of men were standing in line every day, and it was time consuming work. When the sergeant in charge learned that I was a Clerk-Typist, I "volunteered" to help out. If you served in the Military, you know how you volunteer. In this case, I didn't mind a bit, because I wanted to see those Twins again.

Those Twins were Dorothy and Doris Barber, but they were known as Dot and Bunny. They were the youngest of fifteen children, and they were the only unmarried ones remaining. That, by the way, was the most amazing family I ever knew, but that's another story. Because they were the youngest, their Mother was very protective, and insisted that they only double-date. Their Father had died the year before, and their mother was boss. That meant, if I wished to date Bunny, I must bring a buddy for Dot. That was no problem, except for Dot, who didn't care to date just any guy. I did the best I could but the talent pool was limited.

Then I met Jim, who was returning from Panama. He was tall, and good looking, and almost as cool as I was. He was also a Clerk-Typist, and he volunteered, just as I had, to work at a desk beside me. I persuaded him to double-date. He liked it. We dated the twins, and we became buddies. We were young and foolish. We spent money like congress. We bought a car together. We moved into a vacant room in the transient barracks without permission. That room was for men with four or more stripes. Jim had two and I had two......thar's four. We talked a lot about all kinds of things. Once, he told me that if he ever had a son, he'd name him Thad. I told him that I had been a Chaplain's Assistant, and that Chaplain's name was Thad Son. I kid you not!

We worked hard in the office, sometimes late at night. Our friendship grew stronger. We chased the twins. Jim went to Pensacola with me to visit my family. I went with him to Fayette to visit his. True love didn't run smooth. We dated other girls, and the Twins dated other guys. I was miseraabe. By this time, I was in love. I thought Bunny was the prettiest girl I ever knew. That was sixty years ago. My opinion has not changed.

We bought a newer car, Through circumstance you don't want to know, we lost it. Neither of us blamed the other. We had fun together, we made mistakes together. We rode the bus together. We chased the Twins together.

The work we were doing slowed down, and Jim and I were no longer needed there, so we were transferred to other squadrons on Maxwell. The trouble was that we were separated now. We worked and slept in different buildings. Each of us made new buddies That often happened in the Military, and fellows usually just moved on to new relationships. In this case however, a bond had been formed. Jim and I were now more than buddies; we were friends. There was also that common mission.......we were chasing the Twins.

We stayed at Maxwell until we were discharged. We got jobs and Bunny and I were married. Three weeks later, Dot and Jim were married. I was not mature enough for marriage, but nobody could have told me that. I thought I was ten feet tall and bullet-proof. There was no doubt in my mind that I would get a job and climb the ladder of success. Yeah! Jim probably thought just as I did, but I won't speak for him.

We had chased the Twins, as Jim loves to say, until they caught us. In love stories and fairy tales, when boy finally wins girl, that's the end, but in real life, it's only.....THE BEGINNING.

Steel Shanks and Nails

2011-04-22T17:46:00.000-05:00

(Not proofread)

I had a pair of Keds shoes when I was in the second grade. They were blue with a touch of tan and had a little strap on either side that held a small, metal "k", the forerunner of the iconic Nike Swoosh, I suppose. I remember thinking at the time that this was the coolest pair of shoes I'd ever had. These things are important in the life of an average 7-year old boy. Come to think of it, they're important in the life of the average 42-year old boy, also.

These shoes had black, rubber soles and a small tag on the heel said "steel shank." At the time, I was operating under the now obviously mistaken assumption that said steel shank would make my feet impervious to virtually any sort of damage or injury. Including, but not limited to stepping on a nail. "Watch this," I remember saying. I'm sure that well over 90% of injuries to humans of the male persuasion are preceded by this phrase. I would also argue that there is almost always at least one female present to witness the utterance of this phrase. In fact, the female is usually the reason the phrase is uttered in the first place. Guys have woven into the fiber of their being the innate desire to impress the ladies even if those ladies are in elementary school. Digression. I excel at it. Anyway, "Watch this," I said, "I can step on a nail with these shoes and it won't hurt me." We had happened across an old piece of lumber with a large nail perfectly positioned to plunge into the foot of an unsuspecting victim. I placed my right foot atop the nail, pushed up with my left foot, and placed the full weight of all 40 of my pounds on the nail's pointed tip. I stood on it for about 1/1000th of one second. That's how long it took for that rusty old nail to pass practically unimpeded through the sole of my super-shoe and plant itself firmly into the bottom of my foot. How it didn't stick out through the top of my foot is something I have no explanation for. It didn't, though.

My leg and foot recoiled against this Clostridium tetani ridden intruder. I reflexively lifted my foot only to find that the board was still attached to my foot. My father is an old-school Baptist pastor and my mother, the genteel pastor's wife. Profanity was not something I had heard with any sort of regularity at that point in my life. So, rather than let loose with a string of expletives, I simply started crying. A lot and loudly. I reached down and removed the plank from my foot and sprinted, as much as a kid with a hole through his foot can sprint, home to my mama. I vividly recall both the sound the nail made as it punctured my foot and the immense pain that shot through my body as a result. That's not something that you forget easily. Even after thirty-five years.

Sometime around 33 AD, Jesus had an encounter with a nail. Three, actually. I'm not comparing my pain to His. I'm saying that I know how bad one nail hurt my foot. Imagine how much pain Jesus felt as a grown man whose full weight was held to a cross of coarse timber by a nail through each wrist and one nail through both feet. Imagine the beatings that left His skin tattered and torn. Imagine the crown of thorns pressed onto and into his head and how the blood must have poured down and clouded his vision. Imagine the humiliation of being mocked and spat upon and paraded practically naked in front of bloodthirsty crowds. Crowds who wanted to see Him dead. Crowds who only days before had welcomed Him into the city as a king to be worshiped. He knew it would be this way. He knew full well the brutal and violent punishment that would be inflicted upon Him. They didn't take His life, He gave it willingly. He did it because He knew that you and I would one day owe a debt we could never hope to pay. He did it because He loves us more than we can even begin to understand.

Steel shanks? We don't need no steel shanks. We've got a Savior! Happy Easter!

What Choice Would You Make? Something Important to Think About.

2011-03-30T20:00:00.000-05:00

I turned 42 years old a couple of weeks ago. I know that 42 isn't old. It's certainly older but I like to think that if the Lord tarries I've still got several years of living ahead of me. One thing I think most people do as they get older is ponder things that maybe they wouldn't have given a second thought to 10 years ago. There's just something about the ever fleeting years that makes one understand things in a different, more mature way. That the decisions we've made in the past and those we will make in the future affect more than just us. They can negatively or positively affect those who are closest to us. Friends and family whom we love and who love us in return. This is especially true for the children in our lives, whether ours or someone else's. As such, we should consider the broader implications of every decision we make, realizing how far reaching the consequences of every choice, every decision we make can be. One can ill afford to take these life questions lightly. I don't. Having said that, maybe you'll understand what I'm about to share and why I feel the need to share it. I've been struggling mightily trying to decide which superpower I'm going to choose when I finally reach the age of effervescence. My late Uncle Charlie Ray said it hit him around 50 so I figure I should be able to hash it out sufficiently over the next eight years.

The obvious choice would seem to be the ability to fly. I've always had dreams that I could fly so maybe that's some sort of secret message from the effervescent dream fairies. Of course, that would only be plausible if I were to somehow overcome my fear of both heights and flying. This power could prove problematic since I have dreams of being stuck on the ledge near the top of a burning skyscraper as much as I have dreams about flying, often waking up in a cold sweat hanging backward off the edge of the bed screaming for my 4th grade teacher, Mrs. Crowley. (It's a dream. It doesn't have to make sense.) You'd think the fairies would let me have the power of flight dream in conjunction with the skyscraper ledge dreams just for clarification. Dumb fairies. I haven't yet been able to fly without the aid of an airplane or a brilliantly engineered rope swing hung from a pine tree on the edge of the lake on which I grew up. The latter was really just falling, I know. It felt like flying for about .6 of a second and was a lot more fun than flying on a plane. The six or seven times I've flown on a big ol' jet airliner I've remained glued to my seat. My seatbelt tightly fastened from takeoff to landing for fear that any movement on my part, such as a trip to the lavatory, would cause the plane to tip dangerously sideways, thus sending all of us poor souls foolish enough to board it to a tragic, terrifying, fiery demise. Acrophobia and a firm belief that if I book a flight from Atlanta to New York City I have, at best, a 50/50 chance of reaching my destination alive would probably make the ability to fly as my superpower impractical at best.

Super strength is something that holds some allure for me. Especially if I get to wear one of those leopard skin, over one shoulder, leaving one nipple exposed, unitard things that the guy at the circus wears. Maybe I could change my name to Magnus or something really strong sounding like that. I can just see me now, holding one of those those barbells with the giant black ball on either end aloft with one hand while a beautiful woman rests on the massive bicep of my other arm. I'll have to check on the uniform requirements. As the guy who was always the smallest among my teammates during my football years, which graciously ended following my freshman year, it would be nice to be able to actually bench press more than just the bar itself. Having to lie about your max on bench press every week during JV athletics can be a little dicey when the time comes to prove it. Never mind that the max you were lying about was 135 lbs. You just have to hope you've made enough friends who are willing to lie for you to save your starting job at cornerback. (We only had about 17 guys on the team so that should explain the "starting cornerback" thing for you haters.) Amazing strength as a superpower, though, would seem to lend itself to a lot of requests to help so-called "friends" move. Especially the couch, TV, washer and dryer, fridge, and other heavy stuff. Not that it would be heavy to me, I'd have super strength after all, but I've got better things to do every weekend than help people move. My wife says I don't look all that great in a unitard, anyway.

Which brings me to my final option: invisibility! I put that exclamation point there because, honestly, who hasn't wanted to be invisible at some point in their lives? That's exciting stuff! I won't delve into the sophomoric reasons most guys would give for wanting the power of invisibility. I haven't been a sophomore since 1985 and am far too mature to entertain such disdainful activities. There are myriad other reasons for choosing this power. Among them: the ability to walk right up into the middle of any group of people engaged in conversation and hear all the great things they're saying about you. "Have you seen Thad's eyelashes? They are sooooo the cat's pajamas. He must trim them with one of those tiny electric clippers normally reserved for facial hair and/or bikini areas. HE'S AWESOME!" How cool would that be? Then you could take measures to accentuate those things and quite possibly supplant the guy on the Dos Equis commercials as the most interesting man in the world. How could that be a bad thing? Of course, if the laws of the various invisible man movies hold true, you'd also have to be naked when you are invisible. I can't even begin to imagine the ramifications of that unfortunate side effect of invisibility. I don't even like being naked in the shower. Invisible or not, I can't imagine I'd like being naked at Wal-Mart or Red Robin or the new yogurt place. Plus, what would you do with your clothes? What if some jokester took them from the bathroom stall you left them hanging in while you went to try and peek in the women's...I MEAN OVERHEAR WHAT YOUR WIFE IS SAYING TO HER FRIEND ABOUT YOU IN THE FOOD COURT! That's what I said and you read nothing else! I'm not sophomoric, remember? Geez!

Whew. This whole reaching the age of effervescence thing is turning out to be more complicated than I thought. Maybe that's why Uncle CR would never use his power of super-intelligence around us kids. It can probably be pretty stressful having superpowers. I think there's a saying that goes "With great superpowers comes great responsibility." Maybe I should just stick to saying inane things on Facebook and talking to myself in various bad accents in the mirror while I'm getting ready every day. You know, normal stuff.

The Great Ice Cream Shop Faux Pas of '85 (I'll have Sweet Tea in a Thimble, Please)

2011-03-24T14:14:00.003-05:00

This entry was brought about by a picture I recently saw on Facebook. Let me start by saying that I have a question. More than one, actually. Let me preface these questions by first sharing an experience I had many years ago. My first real girlfriend's name was Wendy. I was 17 and she was 15 when we went on our first date. We loaded up in my green 1972 LTD, it was actually the family car as we couldn't afford to buy me a car of my own, and away we went to see a movie at the now defunct Twin Oaks Four. Is there even such a thing as a movie theater complex with less than 77 separate theaters anymore? My goodness. I love them but when a theater can be mistaken for Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport in Atlanta you know it's BIG! Let's get some moving sidewalks in there, people. I've been in some where I have to use my Garmin GPS just to find my movie. I digress. I forget what movie we went to see but I'm confident that some combination of Molly Ringwald, Emilio Estevez, Judd Nelson, Anthony Michael Hall, and Ally Sheedy were in it. Digression again. Anyway...

If you ever went to the Twin Oaks Four, you know that there was an ice cream shop next door. We got to the theater early, bought our tickets, and had a little time to kill before the movie started so we decided to get some ice cream and a drink. We ordered a sundae to share and rather than share a drink, I ordered us both large drinks. After all, I wanted to impress her on this very important first date. The problem was that the cup the large drink came in held enough soda, or sodie-water as my dad says, to quench the thirst of the entire 101st Airborne Division. As if teenagers on a first date aren't nervous and self-conscious enough as it is, drinking Sprite from a 5-gallon bucket only served to exacerbate matters. I know everyone was laughing and saying, "Look at that poor sap. He forced his date to get the giant drink. A common error on a first date. Bless his poor, dumb heart." To make matters even worse she had told me that she only wanted a small drink but I, the big spender, insisted we both get larges. Three years later she would dump me for a guy who knew how to work on cars. The breakup was due in no small part to what I now refer to as The Great Ice Cream Shop Faux Pas of '85. I'm sure it had nothing to do with my unbearable insecurity which resulted in my asking her every 15 minutes or so if she was going to break up with me. I haven't had a large drink of any sort for almost 26 years. One can't be too careful with these things.

I realize I took you around the world for this, but here is what I want to know: those of you who enjoy the occasional margarita at one of the countless Mexican eateries in your town, do you ever feel like everyone is looking at you simply because of the sheer size and amount of the drink in front of you? Isn't the giant margarita overkill or do you get more for less money with the fishbowl? What exactly is the allure of the mega-margarita?

Inquiring minds want to know. At least mine does.

Hubbert and the AEA Appear to Still Wield Substantial Influence...

2011-03-22T22:22:00.000-05:00

Only now it's with the Governor's office rather than the legislature. Our new GOP governor has made me uneasy with some of his appointments to say the least. Now this? Make of it what you will but I think Kris over at The World Around You raises some very interesting questions. Take a look for yourself.

The Full Wetumpka City Council Meeting Video in Bite Size Chunks

2011-03-01T21:19:00.000-06:00

Here is pretty much the entirety of the meeting last night. There is a little bit of everything in here. Council members berating, arguing, pontificating, and generally taking part in what has to be the most complicated hiring process of an $8000 a year employee ever in the history of the world. That might be just a touch hyperbolic but it sure felt that way to me. I'll come back later tonight, hopefully, and fill in any blanks there may be as well as direct you where to see some of the more unbelievable segments of this meeting. For a quick taste of some of the frustration that those in attendance felt, go to about the 9:30 mark of part 5 and then on into part 6 and you'll see some immediately. Enjoy.

First 10 Minutes of Council Meeting...

2011-03-01T15:42:00.000-06:00

Here are the first 10 minutes...

Wetumpka City Council Meeting, February 28, 2011

2011-03-01T15:20:00.001-06:00

First two parts of last night's Wetumpka city council meeting are on You Tube. The rest will probably be up tonight but will definitely be up for your viewing pleasure first thing in the morning. The Wetumpka Herald has the first part of the meeting on its website here... The Wetumpka Herald

Annnndddd they're off...

2011-02-28T19:06:00.000-06:00

There is video of this meeting. I hope that it works. I can't even begin to explain the circus this has become.

Public Comments coming up...Hang on...

2011-02-28T18:49:00.003-06:00

The crowd is getting restless

2011-02-28T18:49:00.000-06:00

Frustration is bubbling up hot!

Discussion ongoing...

2011-02-28T18:45:00.000-06:00

Councilman Hammock asked why we couldn't continue to pay Mr. Stough by requisition. He also wants to know why Mr. Stough served in the same position last year without council approval. The mayor explained that it was because

Holt literally just scolded a member of the gallery for shaking their head in disagreement with her. Yes. For real. She did.

And...

2011-02-28T18:27:00.000-06:00

Holt can't believe there is only one man, Stough, who is able to do the job. The ax to grind appears to be with Randy Stough and the mayor. Holt is pontificating as well as dressing down Wink Barrett who now feels the need to defend himself. Ms. Holt is operating under the mistaken assumption that whoever takes the job has to be able to "coach women."

Washington is talking

2011-02-28T18:19:00.000-06:00

Lewis Washington is again taking this opportunity to blame everyone else for not understanding. He is now telling us the facts of what really happened. My jaw drops every time he opens up his mouth. He told the mayor "I know you're not going to be right, but you can be fair" by allowing whoever would like to apply for this position. He seems to be saying that he knows the mayor will not do the right thing no matter what, but that he(Washington) will be right.

Lewis wants everyone to leave the council alone and let them do their job. Not the first time he has said something of that nature.

Debating the original motion

2011-02-28T18:14:00.000-06:00

There is disagreement between the mayor, Councilman Carter, Councilman Jones, and Ms. Holt. Mr. Hammock is agreeing with the mayor.

Going...

2011-02-28T18:03:00.001-06:00

Test

Rep. Martha Roby's Weekly Column

2011-02-07T19:20:00.000-06:00

Weekly Column

By: Representative Martha Roby

Monday, February 07, 2011

President Regan Centennial:

Yesterday, the nation celebrated Ronald Wilson Reagan’s 100^th birthday. We remember this patriotic leader not only as the Governor of California and our 40th President, but also as a loving father, husband and grandfather. The admiration he felt for his family was deep and strong—rivaled only by his adoration for freedom, liberty, and our great nation.

As the “Great Communicator,” he captivated so many of us, leading the nation with charisma, humor, and wisdom. His faith—both in God and the American People—were the defining principles of his political life.

President Reagan was famously optimistic. He had the ability to envision the world as he wished it to be, and the courage to work to make it so. His graceful and encouraging words led our country through turbulent times and lifted our spirits in difficult moments. He taught an entire generation to believe in America again. As we note this important milestone, we should learn from President Reagan’s legacy, reaffirming our belief in American Exceptionalism and our nation’s place as a beacon of hope and freedom in the world.

Florida Judge’s Healthcare Ruling:

Last week U.S. District Judge Robert Vinson in Florida ruled that the job-killing health care reform law is unconstitutional. This monumental decision is a victory for patients, small business owners, and all those who believe that the Constitution remains the supreme law of the land.

Judge Vinson’s decision in the Florida case follows a similar ruling last month in Virginia. Each court took issue with the law’s individual mandate, which would require that Americans purchase government approved health care plans or pay a penalty. I am pleased the court recognized that there is a difference between regulating commerce – allowed under the Constitution – and requiring an American citizen to purchase specific goods or services. Clearly, our forefathers never envisioned a federal government so powerful that it could compel citizens to enter the marketplace against their will. A law that includes such a mandate should not stand.

I am hopeful that appellate courts affirm these decisions and overturn the law. More immediately, we are working in Congress to defund the agencies that would implement these programs, and to replace the law with market-based reforms that will truly lower costs and increase access to quality care for all Americans.

First District Work Week:

Last week, I had the privilege to travel throughout the Second Congressional District during my first District Work Week as your Representative.

As you may know, the first order of business in the new Congress was to vote on House rules that increased accountability and transparency in Congress. That initiative included the adoption of a new House calendar that increases the time that representatives are available to meet in their home districts.

In my first District Work Week, I attended more than 20 meetings and events throughout the district. A common theme during the week was keeping America strong and competitive.

On Tuesday, I toured Frontier Yarns’ spinning mills in Wetumpka, which employs 125 people. While there, company leaders and industry representatives led a discussion about the challenges affecting the domestic textile industry and the need to stay competitive in the global economy. After our meeting, plant manager Matt Hardegree, led a tour of the well-managed facility, which was impressive for its use of advanced technology to produce yarns.

One of my highest priorities is to fight for policies that will promote economic growth and the creation of new jobs. Right now, economic growth in our area is too slow and unemployment is too high. Hearing directly from my constituents is extremely important, and I was pleased to learn about the impact that certain proposals in Congress would have on investment and job creation at facilities like Frontier Mills. Thanks to the National Council of Textile Organizations for arranging the tour and to the people of Frontier Yarns for hosting me.

American competitiveness was also the theme at an event held last week with the Clean Fuels Coalition and Inland Food Stores in Enterprise. While there, we celebrated the opening of the first two E85 stations in southeast Alabama.

Sixty percent of the oil we consume every day comes from foreign nations, many of which are hostile to basic American ideals of freedom and individual liberty. When oil prices spike, foreign nations benefit while America suffers.

To correct this, I believe in an “all of the above” approach to energy: we need to increase domestic production of oil and natural gas, explore viable renewable energy alternatives, and rely more heavily on clean, reliable, and safe nuclear power. The opening of E85 station is one small but noteworthy step in that process, and it was a privilege to join withEnterprise Mayor Kenneth Boswell and other area leaders to mark the an occasion.

To keep America competitive in a changing economy, we must make sure that future generations have access to a quality education. As a member of the House Education and Workforce Committee, I will be involved in the drafting, debate, and consideration of important education legislation that will affect students, teachers, and parents throughout the district. That’s why I have committed to visiting every school district in southeast Alabama to hear directly from our educators about the challenges they face—and the solutions that will truly help our children learn.

On Friday, I visited students at Greenville High School in Butler County. While there, I spoke with an 11th grade history class and participated in a listening session with teachers. Hearing our teachers describe their classroom work reinforced my belief that education should be parent-driven and child-centric. Educators in Greenville know best how to teach Greenville’s students. I plan to work hard to make sure that every education dollar available goes into the classroom, not into wasteful Washington programs that do little to help America’s students learn. Thank you so much to the students and teachers at Greenville High School for allowing me to visit.

Thank you to everyone who was able to meet with me during the District Work Week including: members of the Montgomery Chamber of Commerce; members of the National Federation of Independent Business; the staff and patients of the Montgomery Primary Health Center; members of the Montgomery Estate Planning Council; the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation advocates; General Hankins, President of Alabama Association of Independent Colleges & Universities; students and teachers at Chisholm Elementary School; students at Wallace Community College and college President Dr. Linda Young; Gen. Allen Peck, Commander of Air University and Maxwell Air Force Base; and Greenville Mayor Dexter McClendon.

Contact Me

Keeping close contact with you is my top priority as I am traveling between Alabama and Washington, D.C. As the 112^th Congress gets to work, I hope you will stay updated on my activities by joining me at:

- Web site http://roby.house.gov/

- Facebook page at Congressman Martha Roby

- Twitter page at RepMarthaRoby

- Flicker page at Martha Roby

House District 2 Representative Martha Roby's Weekly Column

2011-01-25T12:45:00.000-06:00

Weekly Column

By: Congressman Martha Roby

January 25, 2011

Voting to Repeal Healthcare Reform Act

Last week, I proudly voted in support of H.R. 2 to repeal the Healthcare Reform Act. The House of Representatives successfully passed the bill by a vote of 245-189. Throughout the district, my constituents have repeatedly told me that the health care reform bill—2,000 pages of costly and burdensome regulations—is limiting economic growth and preventing the creation of new jobs. I am pleased to have represented your voice in Congress with this historic vote.

We are far from done with our work on health care. My colleagues and I were busy this week introducing a replacement health care resolution that would lower health care costs, increase accessibility to quality care, and eliminate job-killing policies and regulations. I look forward to future debate and consideration of these proposals during the 112th Congress.

Sponsoring the “No Taxpayer Funding for Abortion Act”

In a speech last week on the floor of the House of Representatives, I marked the 38th Anniversary of Roe v. Wade—one of the most egregious examples of judicial activism in the Court’s history.

On the Roe v. Wade Anniversary, I also sponsored the “No Taxpayer Funding for Abortion Act.” This important legislation would establish a consistent, government-wide prohibition on abortion funding. I firmly believe that no American should be compelled to support abortions with the use of his or her taxpayer money.

I am unapologetically pro-life, and I believe that the miracle of human life begins at conception. I also believe that every American is entitled to basic human rights. Pro-life and pro-family causes are important to me, and I will continue to fight for the unborn as I represent you in Congress.

Announcing Appointment to the House Education and the Workforce Committee

I am pleased that House Speaker John Boehner appointed me to serve on the House Education and Workforce Committee, granting me a third committee assignment and a seat at the table to discuss issues important to Alabama’s parents, teachers, and students.

The key to improving our local schools and making Alabama businesses more competitive is to root out the waste, inefficiency, and burdensome regulation that are hampering our education system. The people who know best how to teach Alabama’s children are our own parents and teachers, not government bureaucrats hundreds of miles away. My priorities on the committee are to cut spending and remove unnecessary government programs in order to empower our local teachers, principals, and school boards.

In the midst of tough economic times, we must concentrate on creating an environment that fosters educational priorities here at home, including the development of a skilled workforce. It is essential that we cut out wasteful spending and duplicative programs, while capitalizing on those initiatives that truly make Alabama’s students and workers more competitive in the global economy.

Ceremony Remembering U.S. Air Force 1st Lt. Robert Franklin Dees

On Saturday, I attended the graveside services of a true American war hero, U.S. Air Force 1st Lt. Robert Franklin Dees.

Lt. Dees, a member of the 430th Fighter-Bomber Squadron, 474th Fighter Bomber Group, was pronounced Missing in Action in North Korea more than 25 years ago. Modern DNA tests led to the proper identification and return of his remains for burial. I was honored to join Lt. Dees’ family at Ebenezer Baptist Church in Dale County for a memorial ceremony recognizing Lt. Dees with full military honors.

I am deeply thankful for the men and woman who serve and protect our nation, and I am committed to making sure they have all the tools and resources they need to be successful in their missions overseas. Recovering one of our fallen soldiers is momentous for our country. Lt Dees gave the ultimate sacrifice to preserve our freedom, and his distinguished service to America will always be remembered.

We pay tribute to him and his family, and we are grateful he has returned home.

Contact Me

- Web site http://roby.house.gov/

- Facebook page at Congressman Martha Roby

- Twitter page at RepMarthaRoby

- Flicker page at Martha Roby

- YouTube page at RepMarthaRoby

Of Pizza and Fireflies

2011-01-23T19:56:00.000-06:00

Sunday night after church is often Pizza night at our house. Tonight, as I have another slice, I'm also watching the AFC Championship Game as the Steelers are, at least thus far, beating up on the Jets. Should they win, it would set up a Super Bowl pitting the Green Bay Packers against the Pittsburgh Steelers. Two teams that remind me a lot of my childhood. Terry Bradshaw, Lynn Swann, Franco Harris were among my favorite Steelers players as a child. For the Packers there was head coach, Bart Starr who, with his Montgomery and University of Alabama connections, drew a lot of my attention. Anyway, with the help of a Facebook conversation, I took a little trip down memory lane and decided to repost this entry about the innocence and fun of childhood and how we let that attitude slip away from us far too easily as adults. Hope you enjoy...

Originally posted August 11, 2009

Why do I get so excited every time we order pizza? Because we did tonight and I am. Excited, that is.

I grew up in Slapout, Alabama, and the only restaurant there at the time was Hungry Horace's. Once in a blue moon we would order something from Hungry Horace's and go pick it up. I can remember only one time that I actually ate there inside the restaurant. It's probably because they had an arcade and a pool table and my dad wasn't fond of me going in there because he said the people would get in there and gamble. I don't know if they did or not but I'm sure that had something to do with it.

Anyway, that was just hamburgers and fries pretty much. Nothing fancy like pizza! We only got to eat pizza every other Friday when we would go to my Aunt Bunny and Uncle Ralph's house in Montgomery. I loved that! They had cable TV with something like fourteen channels, a piano in the back room that I'd bang on, and they lived in the city where there were other kids to play with within walking distance instead of on the other side of the county. We'd order pizza from Pizza Inn, go pick it up and bring it back to their house, eat it while watching something sports related ON CABLE(my Uncle Ralph is a bit of a sports fanatic). Then, we'd go to K-Mart, the one next to Big Apple, in Aunt Bunny's big, brown Bonneville where I would always get an Icee and some sort of toy. I have two enduring memories of riding in that car. The first is that I would sit in the back seat on the fold-down armrest in the middle of the seat. I thought it was a seat for kids. Really. Of course I wasn't wearing a seatbelt. The other was the sound that the turn-signal would make. TUNK-A, TUNK-A, TUNK-A. It was so loud! There is no way you could have gone more than a few feet without realizing it was on the way you can with modern blinkers. No going around the world to the left in that car!

When K-Mart would finally close for the night we'd head back to my aunt and uncle's house again where some of the neighborhood kids and I would catch fireflies by the jarful. It was there that I learned you could squeeze the "stuff" out of the firefly's tail and rub it on your shirt and it would glow(don't tell PETA). My dad and Uncle Ralph would sit inside and watch CABLE TV and my mom and Aunt Bunny would sit on the front porch and drink coffee and smoke cigarettes. My mom was partial to Pall Mall Golds. That was twenty-nine years ago and smoking was not quite as frowned upon then as it is now(as it should be). I should note that my mom quit smoking altogether several years ago. While they smoked and talked I would run up and down the streets of the neighborhood until I heard mom hollering for me. Then we'd load up in our 1972 LTD and head back to Slapout. I always fell asleep in the backseat, you guessed it, with no seatbelt on. In my pre-adolescent world I wondered how life could get any better! Until I got married and had children, I'm not sure that it did.

I got older and got my driver's license and there were things that became more important for me than pizza and fireflies. It's been almost twenty years since Aunt Bunny, my mom's twin sister and the closest thing I had to a grandmother, went to Heaven. After that, Uncle Ralph came to live with us for a few years. He has Multiple Sclerosis and has since moved into a nursing home. There is a lot I could write about him and the time we spent as roomies with my parents. In fact, I think I'll do that soon.

The older we get, the less we seem to love life. Not that we aren't happy, but with age comes a job and bills and responsibility. We get bogged down in temporal things that demand far too much of our time and the joy of childhood is replaced by stress and busyness and the pursuit of things we think will give us joy. And sometimes those things do. But that joy is often fleeting and thus begins our pursuit once again.

I think I just answered my own question about ordering pizza. When I sat down to write this it was going to be funny. I like funny. Funny is...fun. I suppose sometimes things don't work out like we planned. Life is short and each passing year seems to go by faster. Maybe it's time, as the old Waylon and Willie song says, I got back to the basics of life. Reassess my priorities and responsibilities and concentrate on the things that really matter. Being a good husband to my beautiful wife, a loving daddy to my two incredible children, banging on old pianos, drinking Icees, catching fireflies in jars...and pizza.

Don't Mess With Us Christians, We're Bad!

2011-01-19T17:27:00.000-06:00

¹⁸Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. ¹⁹ Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, ²⁰ and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” Matthew 28:18-20 NIV

Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” John 14:6, NIV

"Anybody here today who has not accepted Jesus Christ as their savior, I'm telling you, you're not my brother and you're not my sister, and I want to be your brother," Governor Robert Bentley following the official inauguration ceremony

I'd like to take just a moment to have a word with the Anti-Defamation League, The Birmingham Islamic Society, and various other people and groups who are "shocked" or worry that they may not "receive equal treatment during his (Gov. Bentley's) tenure as governor."

Really? These are things that you fear? Seriously? Give me a break! Governor Bentley is a Christian. He has a brother of the biological sort who is a preacher so I can only assume that he grew up with parents who took him to church and taught him Christian morals and values. They probably also taught him that above anything else in this world, that his relationship with Christ is most important. He probably also learned the two passages of scripture that I've quoted above.

The first is universally referred to as The Great Commission in which Jesus instructed his disciples to spread the word of His gospel to all the world. In the second reference, Jesus is speaking to those same disciples, his friends, at what we know to be The Last Supper. He is answering a question from Thomas, famously branded a doubter, regarding how the disciples would be able to find their way to Jesus when he left them. Jesus referred to Himself as the way, the truth, and the life, not one of many ways. Whether anyone outside the Christian faith chooses to believe that or not is up to them. Those of us who do believe it, well, it didn't originate with us. We didn't say it, Jesus did, so you'll have to take that up with Him.

Rather than pen a deeply theological missive to those who choose not to adhere to Christianity, mostly because my severely limited education prohibits it, let me just tell you what I, a simpleton who was raised in a Christian home with a pastor for a father, think these passages mean and how I think Christians are to live them out on a daily basis. The way that I believe the vast, vast majority of Christians, including Gov. Bentley, do.

I believe that it is the privilege and responsibility of the Christian to share the truth of scripture with everyone that they can in this life. Christians should be sensitive to the guidance of the Holy Spirit in doing so, so as not to offend, frighten, or do a disservice to either the subject of their proselytizing or to God. This isn't always the case. I understand that. But I believe that most Christians are sensitive to the manner and attitude with which they share the Gospel. I would guess that Gov. Bentley, as a deacon and Sunday School teacher at First Baptist Church, Tuscaloosa, has done this numerous times, likely in a wholly appropriate way with few finding him offensive.

I also would assume that the Governor, like me, believes that the Bible is more than just a book of tales and yarns meant to teach a lesson much the same as one of Aesop's fables would. I believe that the Bible is the divinely inspired word of God. A love-letter to all of humanity meant to guide a fallen creation back to Himself through His Son, Jesus. If I am to be an adherent to the Christian faith then it would behoove me to believe and follow the principles and commands set forth in scripture to the best of my ability. Among those being the way that Jesus dealt with people. He did so with compassion and love, often befriending those who were thought to be unclean or evil or of an inferior race or other people group. The beautiful story of the woman at the well in the book of John, chapter 4 springs to mind. The New Testament is full of similar examples.

I said all that to say this: there are only two plausible things I can think of that Gov. Bentley's detractors on this (non) issue are being driven by. The first is a lack of understanding of scripture and the manner in which Christians are to be about the work of God here on earth. The second is a desire of the allegedly offended to grab a headline or two or a hundred by attempting to make political hay with the Governor's comments. If I were a betting man, smart money would be on the latter explanation.

Christians in leadership positions are not to check their beliefs and values at the door. They are not to bow at the altar of "you can't legislate morality" the way so many politicians mistakenly do. After all, someone's morality, or lack thereof, is being legislated with every law that is passed in this nation. Christians are to use their station in life, whatever that station may be, to bring glory to the God of the universe. The fact is that those who are not and do not desire to be followers of Christ are not brothers and sisters in the Christian sense of Gov. Bentley, Billy Graham, Thad Hankins or anyone else who is a Christian any more than a member of the Boy Scouts of America is a brother to someone who is a member of their local Masonic lodge. That doesn't mean you and I can't be the best of friends or that I will treat you unfairly. I have some dear friends whom I love who are not my brothers and sisters in Christ. I wish they were. Perhaps one day they will. I hope so. But, short of them joining Al Qaeda, I will continue to count them as friends regardless of whether they choose to become a Christian or not.

It's a matter of semantics, really. If you are an Orhtodox Jew, you aren't a Christian. If you are a practicing Muslim, you aren't a Christian. If you are a Wiccan, you aren't a Christian. If you are an atheist, you aren't a Christian. If you believe Jesus was born of a virgin, was crucified on a cross, rose again three days later, and you invite Him to be the Lord of your life then you are a Christian. Outside of that, you aren't, thus precluding you from being a spiritual brother or sister to anyone who is. How is that offensive or frightening? Be honest. My three sisters are my sisters because they were born of the same two parents as I was. My spiritual brothers and sisters are spiritual brothers and sisters because they made a decision to be adopted by the same Heavenly Father that I did. It's that simple.

If our new Governor is a devout, devoted Christian who is earnestly seeking to relate to people in a manner of which Jesus would approve, then any fears anyone has about not being treated fairly by this new administration are completely unfounded and for them to insinuate otherwise is shameful. To say that one can't govern fairly if they practice a certain faith is in itself unfair. Context clues and recent history lead me to believe that there is no real fear of this and that this whole affair is nothing but the most recent case of political posturing by those who desire the limelight or have an ax to grind with a particular belief system.

If I'm proven wrong then I'll step up and admit it and take whatever lumps I have coming. If, after a reasonable amount of time (more than a day), those who are "afraid" Gov. Bentley won't represent them fairly as citizens of this great state are proven wrong they should be willing to do the same. I won't hold my breath because by then they'll likely have forgotten the horrible, detestable, evil words spoken by this governor and will be in search of something new to be offended by. Perhaps a child bringing a Bible to school with him in his backpack or someone with her head bowed, silently thanking God for and asking Him to bless the meal she is about to eat. We Christians are a mean bunch, after all. If you don't leave us alone we'll start responding in large numbers to places devastated by natural disasters like hurricanes, floods, earthquakes, and even terrorist attacks. Don't believe it? Try us. We're bad.

Is Sarah Palin to Blame for Violence? A Palin Critic Says No. But...

2011-01-11T21:52:00.001-06:00

Posted by Nicky D.

I dislike Sarah Palin. I could go into a big long paragraph about how she is a genius at manipulating the American public, how her addition to the republican ticket should have made every single woman in America (no matter what your party preferences are) say “Really? Is that what you think of me? That my brain is so tiny and incapable of understanding the big bad world that you think you can get my vote by just by saying ‘look she has girly parts just like you’? or how she preys upon the simple minded by spewing one over-simplified, socially irresponsible, folksy catch phrase after another designed to make herself seem more like you, but I won’t.

She is though, like all of us everyday folks, just the worst possible versions of ourselves we could ever be. Mean, racist, intolerant, misinformed, cruel, and socially and environmentally irresponsible. Odd that these are the qualities she chooses to highlight so that she seems relatable. Makes you wonder who exactly she thinks we ARE. See, I didn’t write a paragraph about how much I dislike her. I wrote two, but only two. Very conservative of me I think.

Now that I have made my position on Sarah Palin clear let me just say I think it’s horrible that any of the blame of this awful event is being directed at her. Should she have put other politicians in metaphorical “crosshairs”? Nope. It was stupid, but she’s hardly alone in her poor judgment It’s the political environment today. Acrimony over harmony. Hatred and fear are part of the political process these days. Is it her fault? Nah. It’s ours. They didn’t put the McRib on the menu cause nobody eats it honey. Do we find it vile and disgusting? Do we contemplate how any good could possibly come of it? Do we recognize that its harmful and unhealthy? Oh yeah. But it’s so deliciously easy to swallow.

We love to be angry. We are mad as hell, even if we can’t really articulate what it is we are so mad about. Funny thing is, I think people are scared more than mad. We are being manipulated to respond to our fears with anger. And I have to disagree with anyone who says fear mongering and inciting hate haven’t primarily been the go-to tools of the far right.

Now that’s not to say that I think this particular trend is the reason this individual set out to kill a person whose political beliefs he did not agree with, if it is determined that was actually his motivation.
The man who walked out of his home with a loaded weapon with the intent to wreak this type of havoc clearly had some mental illness and his choice was a product of that. But we have to stop allowing ourselves and others to be manipulated with blind fear and ENCOURAGED to allow our fears to manifest as anger instead of solutions or it stand to reason that we will continue to see tragedy.

Why Aren't Liberals Blamed for Senseless Violence? A MUST READ!

2011-01-11T10:12:00.000-06:00

This is absolutely a must read for anyone, conservative or liberal. Every time some wacko nut-job does something like this guy in Arizona did, the left-wing media wants to blame everyone from the Tea Party to Ronald Reagan. Check out Michelle Malkin's The progressive “climate of hate:” An illustrated primer, 2000-2010 and see for yourself. You will be shocked!

The Plot Thickens: Gilley Allegedly Tries to Bribe Massey

2011-01-08T11:38:00.000-06:00

Would it really surprise anyone if this turns out to be true? http://blog.al.com/spotnews/2011/01/casino_operator_gilley_accused.html

It's Good to be the King

2011-01-07T16:20:00.000-06:00

I have three older sisters, the youngest of which was 13 years old when I was born, and, for all intents and purposes, I grew up as an only child. Needless to say, as the only boy and the baby of the family I pretty much had run of the joint. Some might say I was spoiled. In my own defense...nah, what am I thinking? I was spoiled rotten. Even as an adult, I'm not very good at sharing my toys. Anyway, since I like to have things my way, I was thinking what I would do if I were president. Then, I realized that even though the office of president of the United States is a powerful position, I'd really rather just be the king. It's good to be the king, after all. These are some of the things that I'd do if I became the king of the world.

Everyone would have maps. Google "Miss Teen South Carolina" if you need more info on this one.
The TV show Glee would have to dispense with all the hokey, political/social-statement story lines and just dance and sing. My wife was a member of the Auburn University Show Choir and the singing and dancing sort of remind me of when we were dating. That's a good thing. The story lines remind me of the time Tullis Lanier punched me in the stomach at Michael Morgan's house; I get a headache, feel kind of sick, have a hard time breathing, and want to go hide in a closet and cry. Stick with crisp choreography to Safety Dance and we can be friends again.
North Korean dictator, Kim Jong-il, would have to get a haircut. Immediately. There's no reason a grown man should be running around firing off nuclear missiles and shooting -38 with 11 holes-in-one in a single round of golf with what appears to be the same hairstyle every girl I went to high school with in the 80's had. Minus the tight-as-a-gnat's-chuff perm around the edges, of course. Even if he is a big fan of 80's new wave band, A Flock of Seagulls, that's still no excuse.
Nancy Pelosi would never be able to be on TV, radio, YouTube or anywhere else where I would have to see or hear her speak. I've a feeling I would enforce this rule even if she weren't a left-winger. Case in point, click here. She makes me want to stick an ice-pick in my ears.
Smoking sections in restaurants worldwide would no longer exist. A smoker may know that they are in the smoking section but their smoke doesn't. I spent 10 years of my life being a smoker but quit 12 years ago. If I wanted to smell like the drapes in my 17 pack-a-day-habit Aunt Myrtle's house then I'd move in with her. I'd like to enjoy my Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruity Breakfast without having to don a post-apocalyptic gas mask.
Barry Manilow would be vice-king and his main responsibility would be to make sure that all radio stations spent no less than 8 hours daily playing nothing but Barry Manilow tunes. The employees of any station found to be in violation of this rule would be punished by being forced to memorize and perform Justin Bieber's song Favorite Girl as the opening act for the band Gwar on their Bloody Pit of Horror tour.
The aforementioned Kim Jong-il would be forced to adopt Justin Bieber's hairstyle.
Justin Bieber would be forced to adopt a hairstyle that doesn't make me both laugh hysterically and feel great sorrow for him at the same time. Where is that boy's daddy? Someone needs to tell him to spend an afternoon at Supercuts on his next day off.
The ACLU would be outlawed as a terrorist organization. Hey, they can't all be funny.
Julian Assange of Wikileaks fame, or infamy I should say, would be banished from anywhere people are. I'm a little tired of seeing his pasty, skinny, face smirking every time I turn on the telly as if he is some sort of pseudo-celebrity/hero. He's a no account computer geek who probably spent too much time in his parents' basement playing World of Warcraft or D&D. Get some semblance of a life or go away. Oh, and can someone buy this cat a month's membership at Electric Sun? He's gonna' end up with rickets.
Being a celebrity would require that you have some sort of discernible talent. Are you listening Paris, Nicole, and all of the Kardashian chicks? Saying stupid things on TV is not a talent. Contrary to the beliefs of most men, neither is having a big butt. Perhaps Mr. Assange could benefit from meeting you.
I'd have my very own pimento cheese factory!
And, of course, MONKEYS RIDING DOGS!!! (Nod to Rick and Bubba)

There are plenty more edicts that I'd hand down with an iron fist but I want to become the king before I share them with the general public. I don't need a revolt of the commoners before I even get to wear my crown. Whatever happens, though, I promise to never wear my hair like ol' Kim Jong. Or Justin Bieber.

Some Good News for Wetumpka

2011-01-06T15:23:00.001-06:00

I figured we could use a little good news. Check this out! Sales tax revenues for the first quarter of this fiscal year exceeded those of last year. Mash HERE!

Don't Let the Earbugs Bite! A Blast from the Past.

2011-01-06T10:43:00.000-06:00

I thought I'd go back and repost some of my favorite blog entries over the last couple of years for those of you who might not have gotten to read them the first time around. This entry is one of my all time favorites because it happened to someone else rather than me.

Originally posted on May 28, 2009

The Facebook status update jumped out at me like...something that jumps out at someone. It said, "Courtney Barrett is taking Dale to the Emergency Room because he has a BUG in his ear !!!" Dale is my nephew. Being a good uncle, I called him to check on him. They were en route to the hospital. I said, "This will be written about on the blog." He said, "I know. It should be." He spoke with little joy or humor in his voice. He said, "It feels like a Cadillac is parked on my eardrum." I stifled a laugh and spoke with as much sympathy as I could muster under the circumstances. I asked him to update me when he was done. The following email that he sent me this morning is his account of the events of last evening:

We are on the way home from my mom's and we stop to get a drink at the store. I walk to the door and as I open it I am swarmed by about 700 million bugs. After dancing on the sidewalk to get the bugs off of me I go into the store and go about my business. We start heading home and about 2 miles down the road I feel something in my ear crawling, so I start freaking out because it is in all the way down and I can’t get it.

Once home, I get a baby suction bulb and start trying to get it that way with no luck. Next, I get Q-tips and go that way, still with no luck. So, I get in the shower and run about 200 gallons of scalding hot water into my ear. At that point, I thought it was gone, so I get out of the shower but while I'm drying off, it starts crawling again. I get another Q-tip and by this time I see that my ear is bleeding which causes me to get even more frantic because I think that it has bitten a chunk out of my ear. Then I think to myself, "How do I kill it and then flush it out?" Alcohol is the first thing that comes to mind. I pour it in and immediately realize I have to go to the ER and do two things: A) Get the bug out, and, B) Repair the eardrum I have demolished trying to do just that.

We head out to Baptist Medical Center East and Courtney is driving when at the end of the toll bridge we see...State Troopers doing a license check. It is right then that we realize Courtney had left her wallet at home and we have to play twenty questions with with the officer and watch him struggle as he tries not to laugh at the 6 foot 300-pound baby in the passenger side who is all broke down with a bug in his ear.

We get to the ER and it is appears as though there has been a war of some sort and all of the wounded are at this ER. I see a woman sleeping in the front door so we turn and head to Elmore Community Hospital. We get there about 20 minutes later, go right back to the treatment area and the festivities begin. The doctor looks into my ear and says, “What have you tried to get this thing out?” I did withhold the part about the q-tips and alcohol and only mentioned the bulb thingy and the water. He sort of chuckles and continues. He says he sees it way in the back, a tiny, little black speck. He flushes my ear with a saline solution several times and it doesn't budge. He walks off and comes back a few minutes later with a nurse, a pair of angled tweezers, and a light to look into my ear. He still sees the speck and he reaches in and grabs it! Ahh...it is finally coming out. Hallelujah! It is at this point that I almost faint because he has it alright, my eardrum! If you have never had your eardrum clamped onto with a pair of tweezers and stretched out, I highly recommend you run out and have it done now! What an incredible rush! Anyway, he looks in again and nothing is there and he gives me some antibiotic drops and tells me to leave it alone. Turns out my self-treatment had done far more damage than the bug could ever have done. Go figure.

The lesson I learned here, and I hope you take heed of this, is that a bug will come out on its own, usually quite quickly, because there is nowhere for it to go in someone's ear. Unless it is too big to turn around. I don't even want to think about that possibility. I know that from now on if I have to go into a convenience store at night, I will wear earmuffs!

The Republican Party is the Party of the Rich? Hot Dog! When Do I Get My Check?!?

2011-01-05T17:21:00.000-06:00

Ms. Emily Moore wrote a letter to the Wetumpka Herald's Elmore County Weekend this past weekend in which she chastised the Republican Party for being "the party of the rich." She says that Republicans and conservatives in Alabama "go on about big government control and unsympathetically criticize anything that benefits the smallest amount of us." She stuck to that theme throughout her letter and I encourage you to pick up a copy of the paper so that you may share in the joy of her incredibly well thought out prose. She also makes the assertion that Republicans and conservatives have never been a friend to much of anyone other than "their rich chums" and that it was the Democrats that "gave a voice to the blacks." Note to Ms. Moore: Google Allen West, Alan Keys, Clarence Thomas, Lynn Swann, or J.C. Watts to name just to name a few. You might be surprised at what you find.

I registered as a Republican in 1987, my senior year in high school, and have spent the last almost 24 years honing my conservative worldview. I graduated from Holtville High School in the now booming metropolis of Slapout, Alabama. My father is an old-school, Southern Baptist preacher who grew up dirt-poor in Lamar County, Alabama. You haven't seen rural until you've been to Lamar County. I loved the three years I lived there but it's so far out in the country you actually have to drive back towards town just to go hunting. My mom is the youngest of fifteen children so, needless to say, she didn't exactly grow up splitting time between her home in Montgomery and the family chalet in the hills of Coosa County. Both my parents were born in 1929 which, for those of you who know your history, was the year the Great Depression hit..

When I graduated from high school, after an ill-advised trip to Panama City Beach, Florida, I went to work. I intermittently spent some time here and there attending various institutions of higher learning but am no closer to having a college degree today than I was the day I started the first grade. I've worked at a cotton-gin, on a grass-cutting crew, at a hardware store, a grocery store, and two bookstores, one of which was at a small private college. I probably got more of an education by reading the Abnormal Psychology textbook than I would have had I been an actual student. I have worked at a miniature golf course, in a parts warehouse, and even spent a few hours pulling weeds, row by row, in a cotton field as a teenager. It was only a few hours because it didn't take long for me to conclude that I hated working in a cotton field and so after about three hours, during a water break, I made my getaway. My father was not impressed by my great escape and I'll spare you the gory details of what followed my dash to freedom. Suffice it to say that punishment was swift and severe. So much for my homage the Underground Railroad.

Anyway, my point, and I do have one, is that I am neither rich, nor powerful, nor highly educated. I am a conservative first and a Republican second. If the Republican Party ceases to represent the issues I feel most passionately about in a way that is not indicative of my own personal beliefs, then I will cease to be a Republican. I criticize President Obama because his beliefs and ideas are antithetical to my own. It has nothing to do with the color of his skin. The fact that Ms. Moore speaks in generalities and likely paints everyone who doesn't share her views with an awfully broad brush would seem to make her the more narrow-minded, less tolerant person. Perhaps those on the left should be a little more dedicated to practicing what they preach. I am proudly pro-life, anti-big government, pro-gun rights, and I have a daughter whose first name is Reagan. Yes, she is named for that Reagan. I also have very close friends from various walks of life with views and beliefs that differ greatly from mine. Somehow, they are able to overlook my supposed narrow-minded conservatism and I am able to live with their be-tolerant-of-everyone-except-narrow-minded-conservatives mantra. It's an arrangement that actually works out quite nicely.

As usual, that's just my opinion. I could be wrong. I'm not, though. Rich and powerful Republicans never are. Now I'm off to the South of France for the weekend. Au revoir.

God Came Near

2010-12-24T21:12:00.000-06:00

God entered the world as a baby.

Yet, were someone to chance upon the sheep stable on the outskirts of Bethlehem that morning, what a peculiar scene they would behold.

The stable stinks like all stables do. The stench of urine, dung, and sheep reeks pungently in the air. The ground is hard, the hay scarce. Cobwebs cling to the ceiling and a mouse scurries across the dirt floor.

A more lowly place of birth could not exist.

Off to one side sit a group of shepherds. They sit silently on the floor, perhaps perplexed, perhaps in awe, no doubt in amazement. Their night watch had been interrupted by an explosion of light from heaven and a symphony of angels. God goes to those who have time to hear him — so on this cloudless night he went to simple shepherds.

Near the young mother sits the weary father. If anyone is dozing, he is. He can’t remember the last time he sat down. And now that the excitement has subsided a bit, now that Mary and the baby are comfortable, he leans against the wall of the stable and feels his eyes grow heavy. He still hasn’t figured it all out. The mystery event puzzles him. But he hasn’t the energy to wrestle with the questions. What’s important is that the baby is fine and that Mary is safe. As sleep comes he remembers the name the angel told him to use … Jesus. “We will call him Jesus.”

Wide awake is Mary. My, how young she looks! Her head rests on the soft leather of Joseph’s saddle. The pain has been eclipsed by wonder. She looks into the face of the baby. Her son. Her Lord. His Majesty. At this point in history, the human being who best understands who God is and what he is doing is a teenage girl in a smelly stable. She can’t take her eyes off him. Somehow Mary knows she is holding God. So this is he. She remembers the words of the angel. “His kingdom will never end.”

He looks like anything but a king. His face is prunish and red. His cry, though strong and healthy, is still the helpless and piercing cry of a baby. And he is absolutely dependent upon Mary for his well-being.

Majesty in the midst of the mundane. Holiness in the filth of sheep manure and sweat. Divinity entering the world on the floor of a stable, through the womb of a teenager and in the presence of a carpenter.

She touches the face of the infant-God. How long was your journey!

This baby had overlooked the universe. These rags keeping him warm were the robes of eternity. His golden throne room had been abandoned in favor of a dirty sheep pen. And the worshiping angels had been replaced with kind but bewildered shepherds.

Meanwhile, the city hums. The merchants are unaware that God has visited their planet. The innkeeper would never believe that he has just sent God into the cold. And the people would scoff at anyone who told them the Messiah lay in the arms of a teenager on the outskirts of their village. They were all too busy to consider the possibility.

Those who missed His Majesty’s arrival that night missed it not because of evil acts or malice; no, they missed it because they simply weren’t looking.

Little has changed in the last two thousand years, has it?

Excerpt from God Came Near by Max Lucado

My Response to a Christian Friend Regarding Santa Claus

2010-12-19T00:43:00.002-06:00

I realize not everyone agrees on this issue and I am convinced that this is a decision that is deeply personal and that there is not necessarily a right or wrong way to deal with it. It has to do with whether it is proper or not for a Christian family to teach their kids about Santa Claus. My parents raised me and my three older sisters to love Santa. They also taught us to love Jesus more. I was moved to respond after being pointed to this video by a friend. Watching the video first will give you the context of my response. What do you think? Be nice. After all...Santa Claus is coming to town!

"Hmm. And we wonder why a lost world shows little interest in Christ. I believe it is in no small part due to the fact that most of us Christians personify what most of them think God is. Some sort of supernatural nanny sitting up in a big, heavenly chair who just loves pointing out how bad people are. That all He does, and then we in turn do, is go around telling everyone what they can't do instead of sharing the love of Christ with them. With all due respect, I am personally offended every time someone decides to look down from their ivory tower and yell at me because my kids love the idea of Santa Claus.

As a child, I loved the idea of Santa Claus. Still do. My father is an old-school, Bible believing, God-honoring, pastor, husband, father, grandfather, and great-grandfather who was somehow, miraculously able to allow all four of his children to love the idea of Santa and yet see all of us come to know Christ at an early age. As a matter of fact, when I accepted Jesus as my Savior in 1977, at eight years old, I had no problem reconciling Jesus and Santa. As I got older and wiser and came to know the things I do now as an adult, I was neither troubled nor confused by the way my parents raised me and the way that we celebrated Christmas at my house.

When my father was pastor of New Home Baptist Church in Titus, Santa Claus was an annual visitor to our church every Christmas season. If we do our job as parents and teach our kids about Jesus, who He is, what He did, and why He did it, then we won't have to worry about Santa or anyone else confusing them. Don't tell me that it's impossible or even difficult. My mom and dad did it four times! I'm trying my best to do it now with my children and had the blessed honor of baptizing my son a couple of years ago. If your personal feeling is to go a different route with Santa then that is certainly your prerogative. Don't assume that your way is the only way it is possible to lead a child to Christ. Children possess an innocence that, once gone, will never return. Let them enjoy it while they can. The reality of life will meet them head-on soon enough.

My opinion is that Santa is a lot of fun. My belief is that Jesus was born of a virgin, lived a sinless life, died on a cross, and on the third day He kicked death in the teeth and lived again so that if I believe He did all these things and invite Him to be the Lord of my life, I can live with Him forever in Heaven. That's a pretty good deal. A good deal I picked up from my parents while lying awake half the night every Christmas Eve in anticipation of gifts from Santa Claus in my living room on Christmas morning. I guess God still is in the miracle business."

An Opinion I've Heard Enough Of

2010-12-08T08:34:00.002-06:00

Tragic. It's the only word that can even come close to describing the events surrounding the death of Wetumpka High School Senior, Haley Wingard, last week at the hands of an obviously troubled ex-boyfriend. I have no inclination to delve into why this young man made such a terrible decision or engage in any rumors and/or hearsay. What I would like to address are some of the opinions I've heard since that terrible night regarding how law enforcement officers handled the situation.

I am unashamedly pro-law enforcement. I have the utmost respect for the men and women in our area, and everywhere else for that matter, who choose to put on the uniform every day and go to work to help keep our neighborhoods and communities safe. Sometimes that is something as relatively simple as slowing down drivers by stopping them and letting them know they need to slow down. Warning or ticket, usually those of us who tend to have a lead foot are guilty. We usually don't like when that happens and we might gripe and complain about it but it's necessary. Sometimes, as I saw two weeks ago, it is responding to the concerns of a local businesswoman who heard someone open the back door of her building when there should have been no one there except her. Sometimes it's trudging through the woods in the middle of the night or in the rain looking for a missing person. Always, it is dangerous. With every traffic stop or response to a domestic dispute or robbery call or any number of countless other things law enforcement officers are called upon to do for us, the potential exists for that officer to be injured or worse. Such was the case last Thursday night as many of them responded to the hostage situation that was unfolding in Walsboro.

I know virtually none of the details of what transpired that evening, but what I do know is this: Every police officer, deputy, EMT, and first responder's objective that night was to rescue Haley. Every action they took or didn't take that night, every decision they made was made with the sole intention of getting her out safely and defusing the situation. Tragically, that didn't happen. Perhaps, in hindsight, there are some things they would have done differently. Perhaps not. I'm nothing resembling any sort of expert or authority on negotiating hostage situations. I don't know when negotiating should cease and use of force should commence. The men who were there that night do. They train regularly for situations just as this. Whoever made the call to go in did so based on that training and their own experience. Whoever fired the shots did so based on that training and their experience. If I had to hazard a guess I'd say they are more than a little distraught over the way the situation ended. Who wouldn't be? They're human just like you and I, after all. They risk their lives every time they go on duty for a public that seems to have less and less respect for them with every incident that doesn't end well such as this one. Never mind that this particular team has been faced with at least 207 similar incidents which ended peacefully.

I will leave the discussion, debate, and second-guessing to others who feel the need to do so. Until someone teaches me all the ins and outs of hostage negotiation and rescue and until I've been involved in a few myself, I'll leave it to the professionals. They are good at what they do even though things don't always go the way they want them to. I'm sure they struggle and hurt and second guess themselves enough when things go wrong. They don't need anyone to pile on. I can't imagine how difficult it must be to make a split-second decision in the heat of such a stressful, tense, dangerous moment. Most of us will never have to do it because these guys decided they would. For that, what they deserve is respect and thanks from those of us whom they protect. Spare me the armchair quarterbacking. I really don't want to hear it anymore.

Thankfulness

2010-11-24T17:17:00.001-06:00

This is a rehash of some things I posted on my Facebook page a few weeks ago when I was in a particularly foul mood. There are lots of things I'm thankful for, big and small. This certainly isn't an exhaustive list but it reminds me of how good my life really is and how blessed I am...far beyond what I deserve. In no particular order, I am thankful for...

Cheese
Pizza
Jambalaya
Football
Christmas
The beach
The mountains
The satisfying feeling of clicking my daughter's barrette in my fingers
Lunch on Sundays at the Mexican restaurant
Cornbread and black-eyed peas
Riding my bike
Sisters
My fabulous family
T-shirts that are long enough
T-shirts on which the neck is not stretched out of shape
New shoes that make me run fast
My Power Balance wristband which allows me to jump flat-footed from the sidewalk in front of Wal-Mart onto the top of the building
A good salad slathered in Italian dressing with so many bacon bits that I can't even see the lettuce
The smell of cinnamon
Big cities
Creeks
Really hot showers on cold days
Singing Barry Manilow songs loudly while driving
The song Send in the Clowns as performed by Mandy Patinkin
Jim Brickman
Tacky Christmas lights
Waking up in the middle of the night when you don't have to work the next day and getting caught up in some show or a replay of an Alabama football game
Reese's Puffs cereal
Cool autumn nights
Pizza nights on Sunday nights after church
Watching someone who is really good play the guitar
The feeling I get every time I walk through Liberty Square at Disney World
Pretty much everything about Disney World
Hearing my dad pray
My mom's beef stew
Remembering how much fun it used to be to hang out at Steve and Joy's on Sunday nights
Grit pie at Steve and Joy's
WWII movies and documentaries
Deadliest Catch on Discovery Channel
Going to places I've never been before
The way Mrs. Ward used to pronounce the word "again"
The way a good baseball cap fits
The beauty of words
Anything Rick Bragg writes
Anything Lewis Grizzard wrote
Trying to keep up with Gigi on runs
Listening to Gabe's remarkably imaginative stories
Watching Gracie dance
Marveling at some of the words Gabe uses even though he is only in the 4th grade
That video that someone made and put on You Tube with all the pictures of Slapout and the song Boondocks
The fact that Jesus wept even though he He knew He was about to knock everyone's socks off by raising Lazarus from the dead
A good Sunday School lesson
Hearing Gigi sing the Sandi Patty version of How Great Thou Art
Guy Penrod singing You Steal My Heart Away
When I call Gigi and she answers with her "I'm happy" voice
The way new tires make my car feel so grippy and tall
Getting encouragement from unexpected and even unlikely sources
Members of the military who know how to shoot guns and blow stuff up and yet they still find the time and compassion to be kind to a child in whatever God-forsaken place which they happen to be serving
Winning an arm wrestling match
Talking about the fun stuff we used to do
Clouds at sunset that look like the side of the glass that my dad just drank buttermilk and cornbread out of
Funny people
Listening to really smart people talk about things I have no hope of understanding
Christmas commercials that start way too early even though there's no such thing as Christmas commercials that start way too early
People who make a lot of money but you'd never know because they are so humble
Those same people who share their wealth with those less fortunate than themselves
Listening to soft jazz music outside by the firepit
My firepit
People who can pop a wheelie and ride on the back tire for a really long time
Playing miniature golf at the beach
Remembering Dave, the cat we used to have who used to sleep on his back, legs stretched out, on the bed between Gigi and me
Watching a cat bathe itself, especially the part where it licks its paws and then rubs them on its ears and face
The way raccoons have tiny little hands
The Montgomery Zoo
Rice-A-Roni
NPR when they aren't talking politics
Garrison Keillor's radio show, A Prairie Home Companion
The way people in the south pull their cars to the side of the road and stop when a funeral procession goes by
A Savior in Jesus Christ who, no matter how much I turn my back on Him, still loves me not because of who I am, but in spite of who I am

Happy Thanksgiving!

For "Jake"

2010-11-24T11:30:00.000-06:00

You are certainly entitled to share your opinions on this blog anytime you wish. However, I will continue to delete posts in which you threaten others and myself and in which you make personal attacks. Thanks for reading.

A MUST READ in The Wetumpka Herald!!!

2010-11-20T21:58:00.000-06:00

If you have been a little doubtful of the accounts I've shared with you on this blog of the conduct of certain members of Wetumpka's City Council over the last two years, read this piece.

Time for the city council to grow up - Kim Price, Publisher of The Wetumpka Herald

How About a Little Good News?!?

2010-11-19T10:17:00.000-06:00

Exciting Weekend for Wetumpka’s Youth Indians!

Michelle Davidson

Saturday, November 13, 2010 was the grand finale for the River Region Youth Football & Cheerleading League’s 2010 season. Saturday morning the River Region held their 2010 Cheer Competition. Saturday evening they held their championship round of the 2010 Playoffs.

The Wetumpka Youth Football & Cheerleading League is a part of the River Region Youth Football and Cheerleading League. The RRYFCL is made up of 8 leagues from the tri-county area; East Montgomery, Eclectic, Holtville, Marbury, Millbrook, Prattville, Tallassee, and Wetumpka.

The Youth Indian Cheerleaders brought home a first place win in the Cricket and Termite division in the 2010 River Region Cheer Competition which was held in Millbrook this year. But lets go back a little further, the cheerleaders’ season starts in August just like the football players. They not only have to start practicing for competition but they also have their duties as sideline cheerleaders. The girls practice 2-4 times a week and only get one chance to bring it all together on Competition Day. At competition they must compete against the 7 other squads from the River Region in their division.

The crickets had 14 girls competing this year with Michelle Shaw as their head coach. Coach Michelle said, "I am so proud of these girls for going out and putting their best performance on the field. They put in a lot of hard work, tears and dedication to reach this point. These girls did an awesome job!"

Chaseley Rambo was head coach of the Termite squad and took 25 talented young ladies to competition this year. "I am so thankful to have been given the honor and privilege of working with this group of young ladies. They absolutely accomplished the one goal that we set at the beginning of the season. I told them that no matter what as long we learned to work together as a team the results in the end would be great! Through lots of team work, positive attitudes and great sportsmanship they accomplished the end result. The girls were able to form new relationships, make lasting memories, and build new ones. I can honestly say this was definitely an experience that I will cherish!! The first place trophy at competition was just a BIG bonus to their great season!", said Coach Chaseley.

Debbie Carswell, WYFCL Cheer President said, "This is the first time in 4 years WYFCL has placed first. This is an awesome group of girls and they all truly exhibit what true teamwork is about. They have worked very hard for the past 3 1/2 months. These wins were well deserved! I could not be any prouder of all of the WYFCL cheerleaders."

Donnie Adams, Crickets Head Coach said, "All my boys set goals at the start of the year. Our last goal was to win the championship. And through hard work and much dedication we accomplished goals." The Wetumpka Cricket football team is made up of 8 and 9 yr old boys. They start the season in August and they played 7 regular season games. This year the Crickets went undefeated during the regular season where they out scored their opponents 274-65. Five of those games were shutout victories. Then they had to make it through two rounds of playoff games to get a chance at the Championship round. Saturday night all their hard work and dedication paid off, they brought home a Championship to Wetumpka by beating their opponent, East Montgomery Seminoles, 26 – 0. This is the first ever Wetumpka Crickets team to go undefeated and win the championship.

It has been a great season for the Youth Indians. There were over 225 boys and girls in the WYFCL this year. Over 30 football and cheer coaches took time out of their schedules to help with 9 teams. Not to mention the hundreds of parents who make sure their children are at practices and games. They are also there to cheer them on every step of the way. Great volunteers, parents and children is what makes a league like this be successful. "All of the league board members and I are so very proud of the kids and all of their dedication and hard work. And I want to invite boys and girls to come out next season and join the Indian Nation.”, said WYFCL League President, Adrian Thrasher.

For more information about the Wetumpka Youth Football & Cheerleading League you can visit their website at www.wyfcl.net.

Wetumpka Council Members Huff, Puff, and Berate Way Through Meeting

2010-11-18T13:23:00.000-06:00

*This entry will likely contain several grammatical errors. I apologize in advance for not taking the time to proofread it like I usually do. I hereby throw myself on the mercy of the grammar police and ask for leniency.

For a less opinionated account of this meeting go check out The Wetumpka Herald's website.
Citizens quiz city council about actions

I've attended many, maybe too many, contentious Wetumpka City Council meetings over the last two years. The one I attended two nights ago trumped them all. Hands down. I missed the majority of the work session which I've been told was par for the course. Pettiness, a little bickering, and a touch of self-contradiction thrown in for good measure. What happened at the end of the meeting left my jaw on the floor.

The last item on the agenda for the meeting involved the position of Municipal Judge. Most of you are aware of the controversy that has surrounded this topic for the last few weeks when three members of the council voted not to reappoint long-time local attorney and resident, John Thornton, to the position in which he has more than ably served for the last twelve years. The agenda item addressed whether the city should begin accepting resumes for the position of municipal judge. There was some discussion over various issues such as whether EEOC regulations applied to this position and if it was subject to the city personnel policy manual. After several minutes, District 5 Councilman, Greg Jones, stated that he had been asked by a constituent why he didn't stand up for Judge Thornton in the previous meeting. He then stood up, literally, and stated that it was his belief that Judge Thornton had done a good job and there was no reason to seek to replace him. He met resistance from District 1 Councilman, Ken Hammock, who later would deem Councilman Jones' action as "the theatrics on the other end," District 2 Councilman, Lewis Washington, and District 3 Councilwoman, Kathy Holt. Each of them stated that there may be other attorneys in town who would be interested in the position. Each also acknowledged that Judge Thornton had done a good job which did not support their position of wanting to find someone else to fill his spot. Washington kept saying something to the effect of there being some information that has come up that he has questions about. He was not, however, interested in asking those questions during the meeting nor after the meeting when both Judge Thornton and Municipal Court Clerk, Kenny Harris were readily available at a moment's notice in the same room with him. There have been various rumors about who is calling the shots for these three, actually four when you count District 4 Councilman, Chris Carter who also, though somewhat hesitantly, voted to begin accepting resumes. I'm going to be asking around to try and find out some more information on who might be behind all this lunacy.

After the resume issue came the time for public comments in which those in attendance at the meeting are able to voice concerns or ask questions of the council on any number of issues. It is a rare occasion that anyone takes advantage of this time but things were different on this night. There were those who spoke in support of Judge Thornton, those who expressed their displeasure at the manner in which this council has operated for the last two years, and one concerned parent spoke passionately about these council members coming together for the good of the children in our community. However, the majority of the time spent during the public comments portion of the meeting was devoted to an area resident's question regarding the now practically defunct project that would have brought a hotel and eventually a restaurant to town.

Councilman Hammock stated that, while he supported the idea of a hotel, he wouldn't support this particular project because he felt that it would put the city in competition with local businessmen who own land in the city. On a side note...Mr. Hammock seemed visibly angry for the duration of the meeting. There were several instances where he made rude or smart-alecky comments to the mayor and to Councilman Jones. He made a snide comment under his breath that apparently was directed toward Mr. Jones regarding Mr. Jones' chances of getting elected to a second term as city councilman. There was also the aforementioned "theatrics" comment. He sighed and huffed and made faces all night, every time something came up with which he disagreed with or didn't like. Understandable from my nine-year-old son when I've just asked him to clean his room. Inappropriate for a city official during a formal meeting. But I digress...

Councilman Washington then took his turn to explain his thoughts and boy was it a doozie! He launched into a tirade that included berating and scolding those of us in attendance for not letting them(the council) do their job. I have never in my life seen such a contemptuous display of hostility by a public official toward the very citizens whom that official purports to represent. Of course, nothing in Mr. Washington's words would indicate that he represented nor cared to represent anyone other than himself and his cohorts on the council. A couple of quotes in reference to Judge Thornton's reappointment, or lack thereof, just to illustrate this point: "You people need to quit being so critical of us. These are our decisions to make." "Ya'll act like we've brought the world to an end, but look at yourselves when you get home." More than once he rebuked residents in attendance for shaking their heads in incredulity, at one point saying, "Y'all can shake your heads all you want." Mr. Washington and others do not appear to be very fond of having their actions as council members widely known. It is my belief that they'd rather the public simply leave them alone to do whatever they'd like which is exactly the opposite of what they were elected to do.

Council members Holt and Carter were considerably less hostile to meeting attendees and stated their support for a hotel but Mr. Carter did make mention of an entry in this blog in which I opined that it seemed as if Wetumpka was closed for business. He said that Wetumpka is open for business regardless of what one might read in a blog or in print or anywhere else. Mr. Carter should know that that particular phrase did not originate with me. That is becoming the consensus among local residents and business owners alike. There may not be a sign on the edge of town saying "closed," but for all practical reasons that statement reflects more truth than not. Ms. Holt did state that she was in favor of the city offering incentives to encourage businesses to locate here. She says that she doesn't want the city competing in real estate.

District 5 Councilman, Greg Jones, briefly stated his support and mentioned a recent softball tournament that was taking place at our sports complex which had about 800 young ladies playing in it. He said he didn't know where they stayed but that he knew where they would have stayed had there been another hotel in town.

The area resident who asked the original question about whether or not each member supported a hotel in general, he also asked that the council continue to make an effort make this deal happen. I think that is the feeling of the majority of the citizens of Wetumpka. The specifics can certainly be negotiated. Nothing is set in stone. We all agree that Wetumpka needs a hotel. It is the responsibility of city officials to do all they can, within reason, to try and make it a reality.

We all appear to agree that Judge Thornton has done a good job as municipal judge. Just because there might be another local attorney interested in the job isn't a good reason, in my opinion, to remove Judge Thornton from that position considering Judge Thornton's character, involvement in civic affairs, and the admirable job he has done for the last twelve years. If Mr. Washington or others have questions for the judge, then ask them. Get your answers and get on with it. As once citizen spoke up and said that night, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." It's an old, cliched phrase but it's still true.

You've proven that you are more than capable of taking contrarianism to heights, or perhaps depths, never before seen. Prove to us you can dispense with the pettiness and childish behavior and you might have a chance of gaining some favor with more than just your most ardent supporters, a group that appears to be growing smaller with every huffing, puffing, eye-rolling council meeting. Continue down the path you've been on for the last two years for another two years and you'll be ridden back into the private sector on a rail. In fact, at this point, that's probably a given no matter what you do. The possibility still might exist for you to leave a legacy of something other than discord, though. Even that leaves you with a long row to hoe. The choice is yours. So far, you've disappointed and most people aren't optimistic. Seems to me that it ought to be worth a shot, anyway. I suppose we can hope against hope. Even though some of you don't like it, we'll be watching and listening and hoping you can change things. For your own sake and for the sake of those of us who proudly call Wetumpka our home.

Initial Thoughts on Tonight's Unbelievable Wetumpka City Council Meeting

2010-11-15T22:09:00.000-06:00

(Anyone know who this is a painting of? Hint: Someone who should be able to relate to some members of our current city council.)

If you missed the city council meeting tonight, you missed a doozie. Political pundits have used the term "tone deaf" a lot recently to describe politicians who seem to be woefully out of touch with public opinion. May I say that there can't possibly exist anyone in public service, and I use that term loosely, on any level more "tone deaf" certain members of Wetumpka's city council.

I will have a lot, lot more to write about tonight's meeting in the next day or so. The sheer amount of absurdly inappropriate behavior that was exhibited in this meeting trumped anything I've witnessed thus far in a city council meeting. I, personally, was scolded more than once during the meeting and Councilman Washington referred to me at one point as the guy "standing back there with his hands in his pockets." This after I had clearly stated my name and where I live. For someone who seems to have an obsession with making sure others know they should respect him, he shows very little to anyone else.

Never have I seen a more shameless display of disregard and downright contempt for the very citizens one professes to represent the best interests of, than I did from Councilman Washington tonight. Never. He, quite literally, excoriated everyone in attendance at the meeting tonight and told them to "stop criticizing us so much." Arrogance paired with ignorance makes a terribly unpalatable combination. There was no shortage of this sort of unsavory dish this evening.

I am going to have to get my thoughts together and review the hieroglyphics that I've somehow passed off to myself as notes of the meeting before I write about tonight's events in any sort of detail.

Thanks to those of you who had kind words for me after the meeting tonight. Your encouragement is more appreciated than you realize.

Wetumpka Council Set to Take Up Municipal Judge Appointment Again

2010-11-15T17:40:00.000-06:00

There will likely be more controversy at tonight's city council meeting as the agenda will include the appointment of a municipal judge. I won't be able to do any live blogging because my son has basketball practice. I will be going to the meeting after that but since there is only one working electrical outlet in the room I won't be able to have any juice for my laptop. My battery won't hold a charge either so I'll give anyone who cares an update as soon as I can find out what occurred. If anyone reading this is going, TAKE NOTES! You can post them here later for those of us who can't be there for the whole meeting.

Would a New Hotel Be Good for Wetumpka?

2010-11-08T14:21:00.000-06:00

The vast majority of people who are aware that there is a developer interested in building a hotel in town support the idea. I've heard from many, many people who support this project and their greatest worry now is that because of the action/inaction and attitude of certain members of the Wetumpka City Council that this potentially lucrative development will not happen. I would like to ask three very simple questions to the council members who are so averse to this project:

1. Is it legal?
2. Is it ethical?
3. Would the deal be good for the city and those of us who live here?

I want you to get the opinion of someone other than the city attorney on the first two questions. I have heard that she has never been pro-growth for Wetumpka, particularly the downtown area where her business is located. Her opinions thus far regarding this issue would seem to indicate that the rumors may possibly be more than just rumors. There are plenty of resources from which you can obtain not just one, but multiple opinions on the matter. If the answers to the first two questions are in the affirmative then we can answer question number three.

I have yet to come across anyone who thinks that this project is bad for the city. People have questions and opinions about some of the specifics but I don't think anyone thinks a hotel and restaurant would be a negative for the city as a whole. Seems to me that it could possibly prove quite lucrative when the 12% lodging tax is factored into the equation. We have an adventure race, a nationally televised and recognized fishing tournament that brings some of the world's top fishermen and ESPN to town, whitewater outfits, a mountain bike trail, and various other things that bring people from all over the south right here to Wetumpka. When their day of work or play is done, most of them head to either Montgomery or Prattville to sleep in one of the hotels there and proceed to spend their money in those cities. Not good. A hotel would keep that money here. How is that a bad deal for Wetumpka?

You, the council members in question, may not like the manner in which this potential deal was reached. Maybe you don't want the mayor doing anything without checking with you first. Maybe you want the credit. Maybe you want this deal done but you think there's a better way to make it happen. I'm okay with that as long as someone is working to make it happen. I really don't know the answer but what I do know is that it looks like you are prepared to put the kibosh on this hotel even though most of your constituents appear to want it.

So, back to my three questions. Answer those and if you come up with a "no" on them, then we'll understand why you don't support this project. However, if you find that this issue is neither illegal nor unethical and you conclude that it just might benefit the city of Wetumpka, then...well, let's just pretend there is no "then" because I'm certain that you'll all choose to do the right thing. Right?

Wetumpka is Closed For Business

2010-11-01T21:20:00.000-05:00

All my initial reports from tonight's Wetumpka City Council meeting are extremely negative. I think it is safe to say that these people truly don't care to see Wetumpka grow. In fact, by their actions they are taking us in the opposite direction. Someone's gotta' do something some time. Any suggestions? In the meantime, don't look for retail, restaurants, hotels, or much of anything else to set up shop in Wetumpka.

Concerned citizens should be actively considering running for city council in districts 1, 2, 3, and 4. If you aren't willing to run yourself then be thinking about and talking to those folks in your district who you think would do a good job at representing you and your interests rather than posturing and micro-managing everyone and everything in the city into the ground.

There has to be a change or Wetumpka will regress.

Let me leave you with an excerpt from Wikipedia that you can take or leave or apply as you see fit...

Egomania - An obsessive preoccupation with one's self which applies to someone who follows their own ungoverned impulses and is possessed by delusions of personal greatness.

The hotel and restaurant have probably now left the building.

Stuart Mintz is up...

2010-10-26T18:39:00.001-05:00

Welcoming people. Number right now is over 50 and still folks coming in. He says the meeting is to gain information firsthand and to possibly create a group of citizens/business owners for various reasons.

He is discussing the failed ordinance to surplus city owned land for development. Hopes tonight will clear up any confusion on the ordinance and development.

District 4 Councilman, Chris Carter is here as is the mayor. The group is still growing. I don't see any other local gov't officials here.

The group is now probably 75 or so.

Sitting at Little Sam's, waiting for someone to start talking...

2010-10-26T18:30:00.000-05:00

Hopefully, my technology won't fail me tonight. Lots will likely be said and I can only type so fast.

Someone is Taking Action! MUST READ!

2010-10-21T10:49:00.000-05:00

Following are two letters written in the last two days by Stuart Mintz, owner of Little Sam's Cafe, to local merchants regarding the recent actions of the Wetumpka City Council and the perception that some decisions made by this governing body have not been good for local business. Take note of the time and place of this meeting and plan to attend if you can. If I may quote Stuart: "The more, the merrier."

Ladies and Gents;

There has been much discussion over the past few days regards our City and the direction that it is headed.

As we are all aware, our President has signed into law many changes that become effective 1 January, 2010. These changes potentially will have a drastic effect on all of us...those who are able to stay in business........anyway.....It seems nobody is looking out for us as business owners whose taxes and employment support the City.

We have to start on the local level with our City. Apparently, based on the letter I sent yesterday and the responses and comments received, it is evident that folks on the City Council are having difficulty in communicating with each other....not a good thing.

I do not know if what I am about to propose has been done or just talked about but certainly, I am unaware of a group of business people in our community who by the very fact are in business in Wetumpka must innately have an interest in seeing Wetumpka flourish. It seems a perfect time to start a "grass roots" organization that enables business people in our community to have a voice that is heard and I must stress, not only a voice but also to put forth solutions to the situations we face everyday.

To that end, I would like to have an open meeting at Little Sam's Cafe on TUESDAY, 26 October, 2010 @ 1830 hours to discuss the possibility of creating such an organization, BusinessOwners of Wetumpka (BOW). (Refreshments supplied) ALL are welcome; ALL points of view are welcome. We would want to start with a mission statement and go from there.

I know that this communication is limited in addressees as I do not know "everybody's" email addresses who has such an interest and know that there are several who may want to take part in this initial discussion, either in person or by letter to see if we have a viable group who wants to be involved. So, to that end, I would PLEASE ask that all of you contact folks who are not on the listing and invite them as well as ask them to respond to me with their email addresses to enable them to receive all communications.

PLEASE, RSVP so we have an indication of how to prepare.

Specifically, as a follow up to yesterday's email, I have heard pro and cons to the City "giving away" property as it may have an effect on property value and landowners saying it may prejudice their interests. Valid points that require further discussion...again, ALL points of view to be heard. As it happens, I now have the name of the contact person for Hampton and their developer. I have calls into both and will further advise the outcome.

Everybody's input very much requested.

If you have any questions or wish to further discuss this matter, please contact the undersigned.

Very truly yours,

Stuart A. Mintz,
Little Sam's Cafe

And, the follow-up letter...

Ladies and Gentlemen;

This correspondence serves to follow earlier communication regards the BOW.

Several of you have responded and are interested in attending this meeting to discuss the future of Wetumpka and the business persons role in same. The primary topic of discussion will be the proposed hotel that we have discussed ad nauseam with little know facts and conjecture as to what this project is all about. After we do a bit of administrative business, we will have two guest speakers one, Mr. Andy Wiggins who is the hotel's representative and two, Mr. Robert Bishop, a developer. These two gentlemen have agreed to come to the meeting to discuss the pros and cons from their perspective of not only this project but also, what they identified as "what works" in other communities and to discuss some long term goals like additional hotels located in other areas of the City.

Several of you have inquired about attendance of City council members. This is a sensitive issue given Alabama State law wherein the gathering of a quorum of City council members to discuss CITY BUSINESS is prohibited without public notice. There are a number of exceptions as outlined in Section 7 which may or may not apply but for purposes of this discussion, they do not apply.
This afternoon, I have confirmed with the Secretary of States office this "law" identified as ACT No.2005 40" which I have a printed copy of the complete Act.

My initial thought was to exclude the City council so this issue would not arise but in fairness to the council and since this is a "fact finding" mission and being a proponent of communication, I am copying them on this correspondence so they know what is going on and two, let them decide if they think it appropriate to attend and if so, what limitations, if any, they will have imposed on them from a participation standpoint so the law is not violated. Another reason is that I know of two Council members who are also business owners in the City (Carter and Willis) and possibly three in Hammock so, if they are able to "take off" their council hats, I think it beneficial they attend so they hear the same things we do.

Very much hope to see all of you here on TUESDAY, 26 OCTOBER, 2010 @ 6:30 pm @ Little Sam's Cafe, 106 Company Street.

Again, if you know of others who would like to come, please invite then and ask they provide an email address so they can be included on all future communication.

Thank you all very much for participation and input.

Miss Linda:

Please advise how we can communicate with Council Person Washington as we have no email address for him. Again, until we do, may we continue to ask you to provide him with this and other forthcoming communications.

If you have any questions or wish to further discuss this matter, please contact the undersigned.

Very truly yours,

Stuart A. Mintz, AIC RPA
Little Sams Cafe

Owner of Little Sam's Cafe Speaks About Failed Ordinance

2010-10-20T10:54:00.000-05:00

The following letter was written by Stuart Mintz who, along with his wife, Rhoda, owns Little Sam's Cafe, a Wetumpka institution, downtown. It was sent to each Wetumpka City Council member and was written in response to an ordinance regarding development in Wetumpka which had its first reading at a previous council meeting. It never saw a second reading because Councilman Washington, Councilperson Holt, and Councilman Carter were vehemently opposed to it. The Mintz's were kind enough to share the letter with me and with their permission, I am sharing it with you.

Honorable Mayor and City Council persons;

In reviewing the City of Wetumpka website, I note that not all council persons had email addresses so I "guessed" on a couple based on the others that were listed. May I ask Miss Linda to make sure this communication reaches all of the Council persons?

I note from the meeting last night, that what I was advised as an agenda item....further discussion in regards to the Hampton Inn (and others) coming to the City of Wetumpka, was not at all mentioned let alone discussed.

The first obvious question to me is "why" was this topic not discussed. If I over simplify the following, please immediately advise as I do not want to be casting any aspersions or misinformation.

From the City's website and the minutes of the 4 October, 2010, I note the following:

"AN ORDINANCE TO DECLARE AS SURPLUS

A PARCEL OF LAND

BE IT ORDAINED by the Council of the City of Wetumpka, Alabama, as follows:

WHEREAS, The City of Wetumpka is the owner of real property located on East Charles Avenue, a portion of which has been vacated by the City of Wetumpka Police Department, and the remainder of the property is the location of the City of Wetumpka Re-cycling Facilities; and

WHEREAS, the Council of the City of Wetumpka sees no immediate need for municipal purposes for the property and hereby declares it surplus,

NOW, THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED by the Council of the City of Wetumpka that said property is not needed for municipal purposes and the public interest shall be improved by the transfer as follows:

SECTION 1. The property shall be conveyed by Statutory Warranty Deed to the Wetumpka Industrial Development Board.

SECTION 2. The Wetumpka Industrial Development Board shall use said property for the promotion of economic development and the creation of jobs.

SECTION 3. The Mayor and City Clerk shall be authorized to execute, on behalf of the City of Wetumpka, a proper conveyance of said lands.

SECTION 4. Any former ordinance conflicting with the provisions of this ordinance is hereby repealed.

SECTION 5. If any provision of this ordinance shall be declared unconstitutional, or otherwise invalid, it shall have no effect on the remaining provisions of this ordinance.

SECTION 6. This ordinance shall become effective upon the adoption and publication as required by law.

ADOPTED AND APPROVED on this the _______ day of ___________, 2010."

Was a vote taken on this ordinance? If so, would like to see the roll call of how each council person voted.

If a vote was not called, why not and when will this matter be again placed on the agenda.

PLEASE advise the current disposition of this item.

Again, if over simplify the matter, please advise.

It is my understanding this ordinance specifically related to the proposed Hampton Inn who had developers and architects on site and are ready, willing and able to raise an 88 room hotel.

The city effectually gives the land to Hampton Inn. No strings attached. The Hampton Inn does all the improvements to the property including infrastructure and raises the building(s) that I also understand will house a national chain steakhouse. There is zero cost to the City other than providing the land. There are no related bonds, tax breaks or other consideration given the Hampton Inn.

I did some simple math, again correct me if I am wrong or my assumptions are off base as such that it will obviously skew the exercise.

First, as was passed in last night's meeting, the council approved a 12% lodging tax. Second, I am unaware of what percentage of said tax is net to the City. Third, I also believe there is state occupancy tax, sales tax on certain items and possibly a City tax which maybe one in the of the lodging tax. So, for purposes of this calculation, let us just say the City will net 10%, all in, of all taxes.

If the average room rate per night is just US $75.00, the tax on same at 10% is US $7.50 and at 365 days a year, that one room generates, US $2,737.50 per annum, again just one room. If the average occupancy is 50%, 88 rooms, or an average of 44 rooms year round, that equates to US $120,450 per annum. At that conservative calculation, in two years, from what I understand the cost of the property is was US $250,000. If that is the case, after two years, the investment is returned. What is the down side?

Furthermore, look at the jobs that are created. Look at the tax derived from that and the employment of some what, 50 jobs???...... just at the location. Obviously, with the construction comes permit fees. At an average of 400 square feet per room at 88 rooms, that is 35,200 square feet and with the common areas, halls, an office etc., say conservatively at 40,000 sq ft. I would think an average cost would be some US $75.00 per sq foot (All in) or a project cost of approximately, US $3,000,000. At 1%, the permit fee alone generates US $30,000.

Obviously, the City may have to hire a few employees in building and public works....once again, more jobs, what is the down side there?

This boost in the City's commerce seems to be at the root issue. What are we afraid of.....growing??? This opportunity of having a nationally recognized hotel in town in conjunction with the other proposed growth seems to be a logical choice for tax dollars, employment and stabilization. With the attributes the City has to offer, the River, the Parks, national attention from sporting events, etc., why would we, effectually, be sending people to Prattville or Montgomery to sleep and spend money at their restaurants and shops?

Again, what is the down side; I would be interested to have any and all respond.

If you have any questions or wish to further discuss this matter, please contact the undersigned.

Very truly yours,

Stuart A. Mintz,
Little Sam's Cafe